March 2008

Monthly Archive

March 27, 2008

Going Beneath the Surface with Souljahz: a Music Review

Posted by evanlee21 under Books, Music* Children & Adults, Child Abuse | Tags: , , , , , , |
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 http://www.jesusfreakhideout.comOne of the strongest impressions I have of Souljahz happened when I was driving down the road with my children in the car, singing along to a called Reflection. The roads were newly plowed yet still slick with ice. As I crossed an intersection, a truck sped down the road, hurling towards my car, towards the very back door where my child sat in a car seat. The driver slammed on the brakes but continued to slide. I watched in slow horror as the car continued to careen towards me, as if in a trance I sang along  “..Want you to see your refelction in my face..”  Suddenly, as if held back by an invisible hand, the car skidded sideways, though not stopping, and barely missed hitting the side of my car. I said a prayer of thanks, even more I wondered the power of God’s spken word brought into my life through song.

Souljahz is one of my favorite CDs, the best of the music of three siblings Rachael, Joshua and Je’Kob Washington who came together, for a time, to produce a moving testimony of song, dance, and poetry. I found my copy of The Fault is History by Souljahz in a discount CD store. At the time, all I knew of Souljahz is a song called The Color Hate, which is a song about stopping racial hatred and having love for each other. I came across The Color Hate, by chance, during a web search. I was always interested in hearing the actual sound of Souljahz, and was thrilled to find the CD in a discount music store. I was instantly entraced by the unique blend of R&B, rap, Latino music and beat poetry infused in Christian messages. The name of their group, Souljahz, means “soldier for God”.

I I highly recommend the Fault is History. Souljahz offers a compelling message combined with energetic dance beats. I also thought Souljahz offers a positive alternative by combining urban music with Christian testimonials. Many of the songs address issues faced today such as pressures to have sex, homelessness and child abuse and confront these tough issues with lyrics of hope, inner strength and answered prayers. Souljahz is just as surprising in its unique sound that will sure to have you dancing and singing along.

The song Beneath the Surface is about child abuse, and I thought I would include some of the lyrics here since my page deals with child abuse. In an interview with Christianity Today, Je’Kob says the song is inspired by a friend who survived child abuse, “So to any kids going through that, this song serves as a message to them that there is a Father out there who loves them and will show them a real Father’s love.” For anyone having survived the horrors of child abuse, or have raised a child who was traumatized by abuse, my prayers are with you. Know that despite anything you have faced, you are loved. You did not deserve what happened to you, and it is not your fault. A compelling verse of Beneath the Surface cries out:

“Why do you hit me?
You know I ain’t your punchin’ bag
Since when do thorns try to hurt the roses?
And why are you always mad?
I’m so innocent, and you’re so ignorant
Raise your fist hit or miss
Try to take my happiness
Well that ain’t happenin’ to me no more…” Beneath the Surface offers comfort and inspiration to survivors of abuse but it also encourages families with problems to get help, and for those who witness abuse to speak on behalf of the victim.  

On personal note, I want to add that God will stand by your side, this is affirmed in Scripture, Deuteronomy 7:6, “For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God: the LORD thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth.” What I like most about Souljahz is the affirmation of Scripture, whose promises of love and redemption are, the true essence of music as a form of celebration and praise.

Joshua later left Souljahz in 2006. The group renamed their band The Washington Project and released a new album Commanders of The Resistance in November 2007.

“You need to stop beating us and start beating
your problems
So today is when we stop the hurt
Get up its 10 o’ clock yo we’re goin’ to church..”

from Beneath the Surface by Souljahz

Online:The Washington Projects

http://www.washingtonprojects.com/twpentrance.html

Christianity Today, Souljahz

http://www.christianitytoday.com/music/artists/souljahz.html

The Fault is History review by Kevin Chamberlin with audio samples at:

http://www.jesusfreakhideout.com/cdreviews/TheFaultIsHistory.asp

 

March 8, 2008

Connection Between Abuse & Mental Illness

Posted by evanlee21 under Child Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Sexual Abuse | Tags: , , , |
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 “All i, seem to, think about is violence
It doesn’t matter if I’m dead sober or I’m bent
It’s strange, I’m not insane or at least I don’t think so
Or am i? you think so doc, truthfully I don’t know
I need a doctor to give me some therapy
I need a doctor to check my, my brain..”
Therapy by Heltah Skeltah

WHAT IS ABUSE?

Abuse: Patterns of violence, intimidation and threats used to gain control and/or compliance over another person. Aspects of abuse include: physical, sexual, emotional/mental, psychological and financial. Abuse is committed by one person who has power over the other, and exerts that power in harmful ways. Abuse can happen to people of all backgrounds and genders–socio economic, religious and cultural.

For More Information Visit: Domestic Violence (Myths, Safety Plan, Questions About Leaving, Resources, etc)http://www.domesticviolence.org

 Halton Women’s Place (What Is Abuse?): http://www.haltonwomensplace.com/abuse.htm

What is Abuse in Relationships: http://www.dvirc.org.au/whenlove/infospace.htm

CRAZY MAKING

 One tactic abuse is “crazy making”–when a perpetrator commits deliberate acts or manipulates to make a victim feel crazy, or to believe they are crazy. Feelings of disbelief, confusion and shame are all a part of crazy making. Crazy making can involve verbal abuse–threats, taunts, shame, blame, humiliation or name calling. Crazy making can involve physical abuse–coersion, retaliation. deprivation or physical harm. Often crazy making involves psychological tactics such as manipulation, stalking, isolating and acts that degrade or break down the self.

I found this song to be an of crazy making:

“You said: ‘You’re crazy, why do you keep doing this? Everything is fine.’ Then I think, I’m crazy I do this all the time Until I start to think that nothing’s even wrong [Chorus] Maybe I am Hiding in my own confusion Maybe we’re just A picture in my head Maybe what if it could be The way I wish it really was Maybe I don’t wanna see it The way it really is..”

The Way it Really Is by Lisa Loeb

For More Information Visit: Wearing Her Down, Understanding & Responding to Emotional Abuse: http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/wearing_her_down.html

Crazy Making, Some Disturbing Little Stories: http://www.dreamchild.net/caccrazemake.html

The Connection Between Abuse and Mental Health

Abuse can and will lead to varying degrees of mental and emotional decline. In many instances, a victim will not seek help or struggle to get help because they feel ashamed, that they are “crazy” or something is wrong with them or are afraid of the abuser. It may take a crisis before a victim seeks help–by then the problem is greatly exacerbated. In other instances, a victim may not be believed because they have a previous mental health condition or the affects of abuse present as a mental health problem. The affects of abuse on a victim can create a variety of problems from low self esteem, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress, destructive behavior (eating disorder, promiscuity, addiction, self injury), sleep disorder and phobias. Advocates working with abuse victims will need to work alongside professionals and medical providers to ensure the victim receives the help they need. Advocates will also play a crucial role in getting the victim help–and recognizing that abuse is taking place. An advocate may be a person working at a shelter or it may be a teacher, family member, friend or religious official. It may even be you.

 Facts on the connection between abuse and mental health

“Battered women are 4-5 times more likely than non-battered women to require psychiatric treatment. “ Violence Against Women Source: Tubman Family Alliance, http://www.tubmanfamilyalliance.org/need_help/being_abused/violence_facts.html

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“While that may seem like common sense, there is now a growing body of evidence indicating that experiencing abuse plays a significant role in the development and exacerbation of mental disorders and substance abuse problems, increases the risk for victimization, and influences the course of recovery from a range of psychiatric illnesses. Across studies of battered women, rates of:

(1) PTSD range from 54% to 84%

(2) Depression range from 63% to 77%

(3) Anxiety range from 38% to 75%

…Linking domestic violence advocacy with mental health and substance abuse service delivery is critical for the prevention of future violence and its sequelae.” –Domestic Violence & Mental Health Policy Initiative

http://www.dvmhpi.org

_________________

“About a quarter of U.S. women suffer domestic violence, U.S. health officials reported on Thursday, with ongoing health problems that one activist likened to the effects of living in a war zone…The CDC said women who suffer domestic violence are three times as likely to engage in risky sex and 70 percent more likely to drink heavily than other women. They are also twice as likely to report that their activities are limited by physical, mental or emotional problems and 50 percent more likely to use a cane, wheelchair or other disability equipment, the CDC survey found.These women also were 80 percent more likely to have a stroke, 70 percent more likely to have heart disease or arthritis and 60 percent more likely to have asthma.” Quater of US women suffer domestic violence: CDC by Will Dunsham (3/8/0 8)

http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/ocean/host.php?folder=12&page=497

______________________

“All women who are experiencing or have experienced domestic violence will need emotional support of some kind, but their needs will vary. All women need to be listened to with respect and without being judged when they choose to talk about their experiences.” In conclusion, if you are a victim of abuse get help. You deserve to be safe. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. Your life depends on it. It will take time to be safe again, to heal and rebuild you life–but have hope because the first step begins in believing that you are worthy of love, respect and a better life. And with those steps comes a sense of power and strength that will only grow. Even in your struggles, your value as a person, and in the soul God placed in your body, is not diminished. You deserve love, respect and safety. Believe that.

For Additional Information:

The Women’s Aid Site include a “Survivor’s Handbook”. Here you will find common tactics used by abusers who use mental health (threats, name calling, shaming, creating distress/anxiety/fear etc) as a weapon against victims. Also includes tips on how to communicate with service providers, who may not believe your disclosure of abuse because you are seeking help for mental or emotional issues. Also includes tips how to survive after abuse. http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-survivors-handbook.asp?section=000100010008000100360002

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Domestic Abuse Victims Bring Complex Issues to Treatement by Eve Bender. Psychiatric News (June 4, 2004, Volume 39, Number 11): Information on how affects of abuse may affect a victim’s mental health, coping skills and relationships with others. Information on how psychiatrists and other medical professionals can assist victims in healing and seeking help. Discusses common myths and barriers that prevent victims from being taken seriously or being recognized when reporting abuse while also dealing with mental health issues. http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/39/11/14?maxtoshow=&HITS=20&hits=20&RESULTFORMAT=&stored_search=&FIRSTINDEX=0&tocsectionid=Professional*&displaysectionid=Professional+News&journalcode=psychnews

 __________________

You Are Not Crazy-Listen to What Verbal Abuse Sounds Like

“…he masterfully charms everyone he meets, just like he did to her when they first met…”

Includes Information about Abuse, Charateristics/Behavior of an Abuser, Eileen’s Journal and More http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/

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Violence Against Women With Disabilities (Facts, Recommendations for Service Providers to Help Victims, Education and More) http://www.bcm.edu/crowd/?pmid=1344#facts

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Coping As a Non Borderline/Coping with BPD Loved Ones List of Resources and Information on Abuse, Borderline Personality Disorder, Relationships, Dealing with Stress, Depression, Anger and Shame and More..

http://www.bpdresources.com/coping.html