Going Beneath the Surface with Souljahz: a Music Review

 One of the strongest impressions I have of Souljahz happened when I was driving down the road with my children in the car, singing along to a called Reflection. The roads were newly plowed yet still slick with ice. As I crossed an intersection, a truck sped down the road, hurling towards my car, towards the very back door where my child sat in a car seat. The driver slammed on the brakes but continued to slide. I watched in slow horror as the car continued to careen towards me, as if in a trance I sang along  “..Want you to see your refelction in my face..”  Suddenly, as if held back by an invisible hand, the car skidded sideways, though not stopping, and barely missed hitting the side of my car. I said a prayer of thanks, even more I wondered the power of God’s spken word brought into my life through song.

Souljahz is one of my favorite CDs, the best of the music of three siblings Rachael, Joshua and Je’Kob Washington who came together, for a time, to produce a moving testimony of song, dance, and poetry. I found my copy of The Fault is History by Souljahz in a discount CD store. At the time, all I knew of Souljahz is a song called The Color Hate, which is a song about stopping racial hatred and having love for each other. I came across The Color Hate, by chance, during a web search. I was always interested in hearing the actual sound of Souljahz, and was thrilled to find the CD in a discount music store. I was instantly entraced by the unique blend of R&B, rap, Latino music and beat poetry infused in Christian messages. The name of their group, Souljahz, means “soldier for God”.

I I highly recommend the Fault is History. Souljahz offers a compelling message combined with energetic dance beats. I also thought Souljahz offers a positive alternative by combining urban music with Christian testimonials. Many of the songs address issues faced today such as pressures to have sex, homelessness and child abuse and confront these tough issues with lyrics of hope, inner strength and answered prayers. Souljahz is just as surprising in its unique sound that will sure to have you dancing and singing along.

The song Beneath the Surface is about child abuse, and I thought I would include some of the lyrics here since my page deals with child abuse. In an interview with Christianity Today, Je’Kob says the song is inspired by a friend who survived child abuse, “So to any kids going through that, this song serves as a message to them that there is a Father out there who loves them and will show them a real Father’s love.” For anyone having survived the horrors of child abuse, or have raised a child who was traumatized by abuse, my prayers are with you. Know that despite anything you have faced, you are loved. You did not deserve what happened to you, and it is not your fault. A compelling verse of Beneath the Surface cries out:

“Why do you hit me?
You know I ain’t your punchin’ bag
Since when do thorns try to hurt the roses?
And why are you always mad?
I’m so innocent, and you’re so ignorant
Raise your fist hit or miss
Try to take my happiness
Well that ain’t happenin’ to me no more…” Beneath the Surface offers comfort and inspiration to survivors of abuse but it also encourages families with problems to get help, and for those who witness abuse to speak on behalf of the victim.  

On personal note, I want to add that God will stand by your side, this is affirmed in Scripture, Deuteronomy 7:6, “For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God: the LORD thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth.” What I like most about Souljahz is the affirmation of Scripture, whose promises of love and redemption are, the true essence of music as a form of celebration and praise.

Joshua later left Souljahz in 2006. The group renamed their band The Washington Project and released a new album Commanders of The Resistance in November 2007.

“You need to stop beating us and start beating
your problems
So today is when we stop the hurt
Get up its 10 o’ clock yo we’re goin’ to church..”

from Beneath the Surface by Souljahz

Online:The Washington Projects

http://www.washingtonprojects.com/twpentrance.html

Christianity Today, Souljahz

http://www.christianitytoday.com/music/artists/souljahz.html

The Fault is History review by Kevin Chamberlin with audio samples at:

http://www.jesusfreakhideout.com/cdreviews/TheFaultIsHistory.asp

 

Taken: A Commentary on Abuse in Fiction Writing

Title: Taken

Author: Kathleen George

Publisher: Delacorte Press (New York, New York: 2001)

Genre: Fiction, Mystery

Length: 309 pages

  

Marina Benedict is a woman who has lost her sense of self, and knows only the role of victimization she has played since she was a child—to be the rescuer, to gain love through compromise and self-sacrifice, to remain hidden. As a child, Marina grew up in a home that was terrorized by her abusive father. At the age of ten, Marina tried to stop the violence by intervening between her father’s fists to save her frightened family. Marina was able to secure a brief respite from the physical blows; however, she became the target of her mother’s emotional abuse. After Marina’s father died the legacy he has left remains a source of torment. Marina struggles to remain close with her family while knowing that much of their connection has eroded. The cycle of violence that had gripped Marina’s family in the past continues when Marina married Michael Benedict, an emotionally distant man whose feelings are guised in manipulation. For many years, Marina tolerates Michael’s violence towards her, and meekly submits to being under his control.

“Even the way Michael bristled, the little bit he moved, as soon as she showed the soft underbelly of her sadness, spoke of violence in him…He had not struck her except for that once. But the books, papers, dishes, he had thrown, broken. He had been on the verge of striking her a million times. The threat of it was almost worse, given her family history, than if he’d hit her.” (page 3)

Slowly, things begin to change. Marina can no longer appease Michael, and grows tired of trying. Marina’s façade of goodness, of always doing right, of saving others is quickly cracking—but who is she, underneath?

  

            On the verge of divorce, Marina’s life is about to undergo complete transformation. Marina struggles to make the choice that will either change her life forever or maintain the cycle of violence that she has only known as “love”.

            “He’d been thinking. He must tell her, slowly, over time, over the phone, and then in person, how he is changing. That Saturday morning, months ago, when he threw things toward her, not at her—just audio—and videotapes, but a few of them ruined, and Marina seeing all over again her father, her father’s temper—that was bad. How clearly he sees himself now, from outside, from her point of view, as if he stepped over to stand beside her and look dispassionately. His inability to apologize, the way he’s been struck in resistance, and his indirect way of solving things…He wants to admit to this terrible anger of his. He wants to be rid of it once and for all.” (p. 167-16

Through the darkest streets of Pittsburgh, and the darkest places within herself, Marina seeks to put her violent history to rest, and recreate her sense of self while undertaking a remarkable but dangerous journey. Without warning, Marina is thrust onto this journey when she witnesses the kidnapping of an infant on the streets of Pittsburgh. Without thinking, Marina follows the kidnapper, in an effort to rescue the baby. In a brutal confrontation Marina will face the ultimate battle for survival.

 

           

            Taken is not a conventional mystery novel, its challenge lies beyond the kidnapping that generates obvious attention but delves deeper into human motivations. Kathleen George writes an insightful novel that explores the passions, the demons, the history and hopes that define the motivations of the novel’s various characters. The storyline of the kidnapping, itself, is very intense and compelling. While Taken begins with Marina’s story and then the kidnapping, it veers into the very different perspectives of the police detective following the kidnapping, the family of the baby and into the perverse, demented lives of the kidnappers. The common thread that connects these very different stories is Marina, who becomes so invested in trying to save the baby that she puts her life at risk. The additional insight into the lives of the characters, and the intricacy of how their paths connect creates an emotional undercurrent seething with suspense.

  

Marina provides an interesting dimension of suspense. I found myself enthralled by her fight to save the baby, and wondering what she would make of her life. Marina is a very believable character—emulating goodness but flawed within, she cannot live up to the expectations beaten into her. Marina’s act to save the baby shows strength and integrity in a way that is different from her actions in the past; there is a subtle maturity happening as the story develops. Marina’s response to the kidnapping, yet another act of violence, calls upon strength to be more than passive but to develop purpose and put it to action. There are were many traits to Marina that are common to abuse survivors such as feeling numb or unable to identify feelings, being able to intuit or sense danger before an event occurs, struggling with self-esteem and being enmeshed in repeating patterns of dysfunctional or abusive behavior and/or relationships. Another trait evident in Marina is that she felt drawn or pulled in to people (or objects) that represent security, acceptance and/or love. For a person who has been traumatized, the pull can be so strong, that the person (or object) that represents these things becomes synonymous with love, acceptance and security. In these types of situations, the love is magical and filled with fantasy or filled with special meanings that hold no value in the real world, the need for the object or person becomes all consuming and the ability to remain independent diminishes as attachment increases. Addiction, abuse, and illness all result from these types of relationships based on dependency and victimization rather than equality and mutual respect.

“Under her chaotic armor she is delicate. She’s Joan of Arc, just trying to manage the voices.” (p. 290)

Taken does not provide answers, the explanations are simple and may provoke further questions but what I did like is that I felt privileged to gaze into a window revealing connections and relationships in life that are rarely seen. I highly recommend Taken. As a first novel, Kathleen George has done an outstanding job.

 

Augusten Burroughs, a Review & Commentary on Childhood Trauma

Author: Augusten Burroughs, USA

Sources: Augusten Burroughs Website: http://augusten.com/

Child Abuse-The Hidden Bruises: http://www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/chldabus.htm

Books Reviewed: Running With Scissors, Dry, and Magical Thinking

 

Augusten Burroughs specializes memoir, his work is a surprising blend of South Park featuring Stephen King. I found Augusten’s work to be visceral, painful, humorous and painfully honest.

 

I am also working on a memoir and I can say, from experience, that of all the writing I have done memoir is the toughest. A good memoir puts your vulnerabilities, your deepest secrets, all things you wished to say but never did on paper for the world to see; and once published you can never take those words back. When writing my memoir, at first I felt like a character in one of my books. I stood apart from really feeling or owning my experiences. It was much easier to be detached than to really relive what I had buried in the past. Then I took a class on writing memoir with an accomplished author. My teacher was very intelligent, a thoughtful writer with a lot of flair. She encouraged me to explore, and delve into the scenes in my book. To relive each moment from a different sense, to put words to intuition. As my book flourished so did my sense of “This is me!”. Laugh* In a sense, writing memoir can be a sort of therapy…and sometimes a mirror that sees into the all the walls you have put up.

 

Augusten’s works are revealing, and embody all the aspects of a well-written memoir. Often I felt as if I was standing beside Augusten, walking through the streets of memory, as I read his books. In Running With Scissors when Augusten recalls the abuse, neglect, and lack of support he survived as a child I wanted to scream—to fight for him. He takes you in a very personal way, through some of the darkest moments in his life and you cannot help but to be moved, but in the same way you don’t want to get too close. Augusten can be critical, sarcastic and at times distant. In Dry Augusten recalls his alcoholism, recovery and self-destructiveness. The mystery of Augusten is that his anger is directed outward—especially in Magical Thinking do you get the brunt of a rather cutting, often caustic sense of humor. Augusten does not elaborate on coping with a traumatic childhood, and there is no sense of resolution. Perhaps there are subtle clues such as Augusten’s struggle to form close relationships, and a past tendency for sexual encounters with men that he had not known for very long. Or how uncomfortable Augusten feels around children, despite being rather sensitive towards others. Humor, clearly is Augusten’s release, there are so many memorable stories but my favorite is in Magical Thinking when the little girl goes on an Easter egg hunt, excitedly picks up a bag she thought was candy to see a lump of dog turd inside. Humor, and determination are common themes in all three books. Even at his lowest point, these attributes provide strength and perhaps, a way to triumph.

 

Another aspect that Augusten’s works brought forth in me is the impact of trauma and abuse on a child. Reading the news or hearing horrific stories, it may be easy to judge abuse by the severity or physical blows. However, for a child the pain of abuse and the pain on the psyche cannot be separated. While an outsider may judge abuse based on bruises or neglect, may think that yelling at a child is not as bad as hitting, in a child’s reality the actual abuse is compounded by trauma and psychological damage. Often the full measure of abuse is repressed or separated, in which case as an adult the abuse is experienced all over again. If there is no resolution, abusive and dysfunctional patterns may continue –sometimes to the next generation.

 

I also thought it was interesting that in Running With Scissors Augusten does not actually say that he was raped as a child, I was often left with the impression that the dysfunction and insanity of his youth was normal. One example of this is the wife of the psychiatrist sitting in the living room, eating handfuls of dog food from a bag. She convinces everybody that the dog food tastes good, and they ought to try some before judging her for eating it. While Augusten is initially skeptical, he does try a kibble of dog food and later agrees that it does taste good, and starts eating more of it. In a very real way, the crazy, the dysfunctional has become “normal”.

The process of anger, of feeling wronged becomes more fully developed in Dry and Magical Thinking. I was actually appalled, to the point of wanting to throw up, that readers would ask Augusten if he had ever seen or heard from Bookman (the pedophile). Facing your abuser in a memoir takes a tremendous amount of courage. I cannot imagine what it would be like to see this person face to face, as an adult. I can honestly say that the face of an abuser is not easily erased from your mind—nor from the normal life you strive for after surviving abuse or trauma. Victims often see the abuser in their minds, their nightmares, and other aspects of their life—the healing process is a lot like recovering from severe burns in the most vulnerable parts of who you are.

 

Anger is also a part of  healing. For abuse victims it’s a lot easier to be angry at yourself, or people perceived to be weaker than to directly confront the abuser through feelings or memories. Anger towards the self becomes justified by the manipulation of the abuser. Often abuse victims will blame themselves for letting the abuse happen because they feel weak, vulnerable, or were seeking something (love, support, attention, etc.) that was only met by abuse or violence. As an abuse victim, healing involves taking back your power. There are many aspects of taking back your power but at its core that involves being comfortable in who you are (learning to live with the abuse in a way that does not continue the pattern of dysfunction or violence). Getting to that point is going through a dark maze of emotion and pain and anger. For a time the victim may turn to addiction, resist intimacy or use defenses to shield themselves.  I can imagine that writing a memoir that is published all over the world will cause you to let down your shields, or at least be open to having them knocked down.! For this, I applaud Augusten.

 

I highly recommend the writing of Augusten Burroughs, though it is not for the faint of heart. The writing of Augusten, overall, is very unique and insightful.

The heart of a child
Is in your hands now
So let’s see you smile
’cause I’m not impressed with your loneliness
And it’s been a while
Since you forgave all your changes made

“Of a Broken Heart”, Zwan

“Child abuse is reported on an average of every 10 seconds and three children die every day as a result of such abuse. ” — Tennyson Center for Children (www.childabuse.org)

 

A Review of “On the Run, A Mafia Childhood”

Book Reviewed: “On the Run: A Mafia Childhood”

Authors: Gregg and Gina Hill

Published: Warner Books: New York, New York. 2004.

Pages: 245.

Genre: Memoir.

Recommendation: Honest, Compelling, and Well Written. The tragic truth behind the Hollywood Mafia hype revealed through the eyes of two children growing up in a world of chaos. It’s remarkable how Gregg and Gina Hill find the strength to build better lives for themselves…the witness protection program, the denial of their mother, the tough and sassy-tongued love of a grandmother couldn’t do what they have accomplished, all on their own.

  

On the Run is the true story of Greg and Gina Hill, siblings, whose father, Henry Hill is an infamous mobster turned federal informant. Henry Hill has spent most of his life in and out of jail for committing hundreds of crimes, and many more that he can’t recall. Other times, Henry would simply vanish—abandoning his family for self-indulgent desires: drugs, alcohol, gambling, affairs with women. Early memories Gregg and Gina have of their father include Henry snorting lines of coke off the Miss Piggy mirror in Gina’s room, wild parties in the home and visits with Henry in prison where Mrs. Hill (Karen) snuck contraband to her husband. Karen was a loyal wife who returned to her husband’s side despite years of abuse, infidelity, and utter chaos. What strikes me is that throughout their childhood, no one is looking out for Gregg and Gina. No one is there to fight to keep them safe, or make an attempt to give them a better life, or even say a kind word (the vocabulary at the Hill house is peppered with obscenities, and often Henry is verbally abusive. On several occasions Henry has threatened to kill his family). Gregg comments that (p. 221).” There we so many secrets in our family. We didn’t keep them intentionally, I don’t think, but there were just so many things we didn’t know about my father…we disintegrated individually.” Despite these harsh conditions, Gregg and Gina took what they could to establish some kind of stability—for both of them the friendships and activities they participated in outside the home were instrumental to offering escape, and perhaps hope. For much of her childhood, Gina blindly loves her father—forgives his wrongs—believes in Henry’s promises for a happy future, that the bad times are only temporary. Time and time again, Henry brings Gina’s dreams crashing down on her head in ruins. There is a different relationship between Henry and Gregg—at first a fascination bordering on respect that quickly erodes to tension, and mistrust. By the time he is a teenager, Gregg will be openly at war with his father.

 

Life for the Hill family is abruptly torn asunder when Henry is arrested for drug charges in 1979. While Henry was in jail, FBI agents went to visit him, to coerce Henry to cooperate on a case. With the appearance of the FBI, word soon got out that Henry would snitch. In turn, an associate known to Gregg and Gina as “Uncle Jimmy” made threats against Henry’s life. When it is learned that there are threats on his life, federal agents offer Henry an opportunity—work as an informant and in exchange the family will be placed in the witness protection program. Henry takes the deal. When the Hills enter the witness protection program their lives are changed in just a few hours– the family is allowed to take only a few belongings and in secrecy, whisked into a strange life.

 

Even in witness protection, some things remain the same—namely Henry’s explosive temper, his life of crime, his drug and alcohol abuse and the chaos that is common in the Hill home. Other times, Henry is known to be charming, funny and attentive towards his family. While Gregg and Gina are living in witness protection, as small children holding this enormous secret inside, their father is doing everything in his power to undermine their safety, and anonymity. When the identity of the Hill family is compromised, or they are threatened, they are forced to move—often with only a moment’s notice and no time to say “good-bye” to the life they had known so briefly. Gregg and Gina alternately relate this story, in vivid detail—their courage is both heartbreaking and deeply moving.  I was touched by Gina’s candor in describing her feelings towards Henry. Gina seems conflicted between the different sides of her father, at times she mirrors her mother and makes excuses for her father, desperately holding onto the dream that she would one day belong to a “normal” family. The breaking point comes for Gina after her father viciously attacks her on her 17^th birthday (p. 219-220),” I believed in him. All those years, I believed in him. I’d always forced myself to hold two different images of him in my mind, the good man I knew he was and the bad man the drugs and alcohol made him. I kept the good image alive, too, when no one else did, when the bad one was suffocating it. He tried to kill me. He tried to run me down. We had the nice house. We had the horses. He had the book coming. Why now? Was he high? Strung out? Did I give a sh**?”  On the Run is a suspenseful tale, it begins with the innocence of Gregg and Gina whose lives are turned upside down, as chaos envelops their home and the sanity of their parents, you can’t help but to wonder if they will break under the pressure.

  

Reading One the Run gave me a lot to think about, in wanting to help Gregg and Gina, I began to assess my actions. Some of my thoughts reflected on how I had internalized dysfunction as a child. I went beyond the past, to think about what I have to give to others, now, in the present. I have learned that when a child is living in a dysfunctional home or with an abusive parent, often that child takes on the roles and responsibilities of an adult in order to survive. Even in cases of intervention, the child may take on an adult level of behavior because of a pattern forced on the child at a young age. In the case of Gina Hill, she mimicked the behavior of her mother, and as a young child would make up elaborate excuses for Henry’s abuse, addictions, and cruelty. Gina learned to justify her father’s behavior because it was expected of her but when she was older, several things happened that caused Gina to seek her own freedom. I also think Gina was pushed to action by Gregg, who ran away from home. Gregg also took on an adult role when he became a defender. When Gregg saw his father going into a rage, or beating his mother, Gregg would shout at Henry or physically attack him.  Gregg had a propensity to violence in being exposed to it from a young age—his father let Gregg fire a submachine gun in the basement as a child, there were Mafia men and gangsters constantly in company of his father, and then living with the fear of being killed on a daily basis. In many ways, Gregg was bred to be violent, and struggled against becoming like Henry on a very personal level. One of the most vivid scenes I recall is a confrontation Gregg had with Henry Hill (p.223),”I remembered a page from a book I got for my thirteenth birthday, Deal the First Deadly Blow. It was a military manual about hand-to-hand combat, overpowering bigger opponents quickly and lethally…I swung my arms out to either side, then brought my hands together fast, clapping my palms over his ears. The pressure change was supposed to be excruciating. Apparently it was. My father let out an ungodly howl like he’d been disemboweled. I felt a spark of satisfied surprise. Holy sh**! It worked!”  I think the hardest thing for a child living in a dysfunctional home to do is to separate their identity from that of the abuse, of the chaos. The child has to learn to deal with their own issues and to create healthy boundaries. While at the same time deal with the pressure, guilt, and disappointment so ingrained that a child feels he/she ought to take on the issues of others. Or a child may feel responsible for the abuse/bad circumstances that have happened to them as a child. I don’t know how Gregg and Gina Hill worked through their issues, it wasn’t elaborated on…but I would like to say to anyone reading this, be patient and loving to the children in your life. The attitudes and actions you have toward a child will shape the rest of their lives. Also be aware of children in need—taking the time to be supportive, to offer help or to intervene in an abusive situation could save a life. You can help in other ways, too by volunteering, donating items to charity, and showing your children a good example in yourself.

  

The question that kept me up at night after reading On the Run is why didn’t anyone do anything to rescue Gregg and Gina as children? As Henry continued a life of crime, continued to terrorize his family, continued to compromise the witness protection program—didn’t it dawn on anybody that those who were most at risk were the children? The former Mob associates who wanted to kill Henry posed little threat compared to the new friends Henry had made—derelicts, drug dealers, gangsters, addicts. Gregg and Gina were exposed to danger every day and worse, when they grew older they almost lost themselves to anger, hurt, and pain caused by living in such dysfunction. The part of the story left untold, that I wanted to hear, was how did Gregg and Gina find success, and find a way out of the Mafia life. Who helped them? What inspired them? How did they manage to escape despite the incredible odds against them? The “happy ending” of this story is bittersweet (I won’t ruin the book and tell you here)—despite all his crimes, and obvious problems Henry  is given a second chance time and time again. Gregg and Gina are left to pick up the pieces, without the support of parents, and build a life for themselves. Their efforts are truly inspiring, and I hope Gregg and Gina continue to do well. I highly recommend On the Run.  

 

Review: The Situation, Krystal Meyers

“Avoiding getting close to people and trying to hide all of one’s pain and vulnerabilities may create a sense of safety. But this approach to relationships leads to a great deal of loneliness, prevents experiences and learning about developing true intimacy and trust, and makes one vulnerable to desperately and naively putting trust in the wrong people and being betrayed again.” – Jim Hopper, Ph.D

“I wanted this to be God’s words, not my own. I want God to be speaking through my music. So I stepped back and prayed about it. I surrendered the whole writing process to God.” — Krystal Meyers, Christian Music Today

I decided to review the song “The Situation” by Krystal Meyers, a Christian rock/alterantive artist, because the song is compelling, and sends a positive message. Krystal wrote the song to warn against premarital sex, “The Situation” advises seeking love from God, and seeking self-respect rather than compromising yourself in an unsafe situation. The message of “The Situation” parallels the danger many abuse survivors face, being re-victimized by trauma and by those who seek to exploit their vulnerabilities.  

The results of child abuse are devastating on a child and can leave lasting trauma in social, emotional, mental and physical development. A survivor’s ability to form close relationships with others, to bond and develop trust often in compromised, if not shattered, as a result. When abuse issues are not healed, an abused child is vulnerable to further victimization–as adults, many victims of enter abusive or dysfunctional relationships. Or, survivors carry thier trauma into aspects of their lives as adults, and into the relationships they form with others.

Examples of emotional and behavioral trauma caused by abuse include: withdrawal (extreme passivity, disconnection or apathy), low-self esteem, substance abuse, self injury, sexually acting out/risk taking, and depression (may include sleep disturbances, running away, dramatic change in appearance, or dramatic change in friends). In turn, the trauma affects the relationships the survivor will have with others–and ultimately will shape judgments when getting close to others. The good news is that trauma can be healed, and a survivor can lead a productive, happy life free of the past. However, the scars of abuse must be resolved–and the patterns of abusive relationships released. With support and professional help, the suvivor will heal.

I find music a powerful tool in healing, especially in reaching out to children. Often times songs speak the words adults fumble for. Or the strike of a guitar, imparts an emotion that conveys a meaning that is understood on another level. So I really was impressed by the depth of “The Situation”, and Krystal’s maturity in performing such a provactive piece at such a young age (she is 19). I really think music can be used as a tool to bridge communication between parent and child–to sit close together, and listen. To offer an opportunity to talk. To ask what is important to your child. To let your child know you are listening. To let the child know they are the most important situation to you.

_______________________

Artist: Krystal Meyers

Album: Dying for a Heart, 2006

Song: The Situation

Genre: Rock, Alternative, Christian

Lyrics:
She’s finding love in the back of a car when is it too late
Have they gone too far
She’s having trouble drawing the line
But she knows she wants to feel beautiful

She struggles finding self-respect
She’ll wake up feeling regret
Her purity’s been compromised
But she knows she wants to feel beautiful

A promise made to treasure
You don’t have to give it away
Falling for the pressure
You can’t mend a vow when it breaks
Explain your hesitation
Jesus can be your escape
Don’t taint the situation
This love was made to wait

He’s living life out on the edge
Gotta make a move
Move it onto the bed
Temptation whispers in his head
Believe the lie
Suck it up and be a man

He’ll trade her heart
For a trophy
Put it on the shelf
So his friends can see
He has what it takes to get what he wants
Tonight’s the night
Suck it up and be a man

What’s wrong?
I can see the fear behind your eyes
You’re scared
You might walk away unsatisfied
God’s love
Is the only love to fill the void
He’s reachin’ out
Just turn around
And hold on

________________

For More Information:

To report abuse, call the National Child Abuse Hotline:

1-800-4-A-CHILD.

IN A LIFE THREATENING EMERGENCY CALL 911

Krystal Meyers Online:

http://www.myspace.com/krystalmeyers

http://www.myspace.com/krystalmeyers

Child Abuse Statistics, Research, and Resources

by Jim Hopper, Ph.D

http://www.jimhopper.com/abstats/#effects

Child Abuse Research and Statistics

http://www.prevent-abuse-now.com/stats.htm#Allegations

Christianity Today: The Journey of a Musical Anti-Conformist

http://www.christianitytoday.com/music/artists/krystalmeyers.html

Help Guide Coping with Stress: Management, Prevention, Reduction

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_management_relief_coping.htm

Music Faith: Krystal Meyers Colliding Pieces

http://www.musicfaith.com/fansites/krystal_meyers/interviews.php

Parenting a Sexually Abused Child:

http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/pa/pa_sexabpar_hhg.htm

Surviving Child Sexual Abuse (Includes Information on how to talk to children about abuse, methods to reduce stress, resources for information, and much more…)

http://www.geocities.com/mandy62657

 

Out of Eden: A Reflection

A personal experience about Out of Eden I would like to share…

 I was a bit of a “wild child” in high school, known for being very outspoken, creating my own sense of style and playing a number of pranks (including throwing frog parts during the dissection in Biology–where I was sternly warned not to clog the sink up!). One day in Biology, there was a substitute teacher who caught me by surprise when he brought a boombox to class (carbon dating myself, I know!).  The teacher was excited to tell the class about the upcoming Billy Graham crusade, and the live concerts that would be performing.  He had CD of some of the music, including “Lovely Day” by Out of Eden. I fell in love with the song as soon as I heard it, the music was so fun yet so beautiful–every part of me wanted to get out of my seat and dance.  Then the teacher told the class that he was going to promote the upcoming Billy Graham crusade at chapel and asked if anyone would volunteer to sing a few songs. To this day I do not know what compelled me but my hand shot up, and though I had no idea what I would be singing; nevermind I never sung anything in public other than the cute but off key Christmas songs all the parents cry over during elementary school concerts, there I was volunteering to sing in front of my whole high school. I really wasn’t nervous, I was known to be a bit of a rebel and I figured if anything went wrong, no one would be surprised.

Luckily, this very nice girl (who just happens to be a very good singer plus we sung together in choir) also volunteered so I had a partner. The teacher gave a short speech (by then I was getting nervous and completely forgot what he said) then motioned for us to come on stage, and turned on the boombox. I was relieved when the music was what he had played in class! I cannot imagine the horror of what my classmates had to endure but you probably deserved it–haha–kidding. I do want to say, you all missed out on the fun, and should have came on stage or at least stood on your chairs and done the rodeo!

The following weekend, I did go to the Billy Graham crusade. As I recall it was over St. Patrick’s Day and was the only party where everyone was excited, laughing and happy–but not drunk. I was dressed all in green, happy to have stolen a vest from my brother without him noticing it was gone (his favorite vest that looked like one Shai had worn). The crusade was held in a sporting arena but everyone was so friendly, and the stage itself was so small that it did not feel like a large room at all. When Out of Eden took the stage, the room broke out in the thunder of bass and clapping hands. Absolutely no one was sitting in their seats.  Lisa, Danielle and Andrea did look great in their matching outfits, but there was something about them that is very down to earth–they were like any of the girls in my high school. I really liked how Out of Eden represented the music they sang–they weren’t big egos or attention seeking celebrities. Their talent truly was in their voice.  And their praise was in God.  I was impressed with both their music, and yet how graceful they were. I knew then I was–and would be a fan for life.

 

Out of Eden: Cultivating Hope

I am including a short review about Out of Eden because their music is designed to be a ministry to those in need, particularly youth. Many of the songs of Out of Eden discuss painful subjects such as abuse, teenage pregnancy, runaways and hopelessness with a positive, and powerful message that despite any struggle, you can change your life for the better ()-

Out of Eden: A Short Bio

A positive, inspiring voice in Christian R&B music, Out of Eden is an original blend of soulful lyrics and dance beats. Out of Eden have also performed an album, Hymns, of Gospel music which reflects their early church upbringing.  The music of Out of Eden is both a fun, spirited celebration of their Christian faith and a thoughtful, often provocative look at the struggles many youth face. Each song is infused with a positive message of hope, redemption and God’s unconditional love.Out of Eden’s members are three sisters: Danielle Kimmey, Lisa Kimmey Bragg and Andrea Baca. The sisters grew up in Richmond, Virginia. Their mother is a classical pianist who relied upon her daughters as a support act when she performed on stage. The sisters were also influenced by R&B acts such as En Vouge and TLC. Their first album, Lovin’ the Day, was released in 1994. At the time, Danielle Kimmey was just 12 years old and the youngest Christian artist to be signed. In 2006, Out of Eden announced their retirement with nearly one and a half million records sold, and more importantly–having reached an untold number in their ministry through music and outreach projects

Out of Eden: Three Songs of Ministry

“You’re fourteen, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you
What’s that twenty year old man got to do with you…
I wish-I made a better life for you
I wish-there was someone you could look up to

Hoping that one day soon you’ll see
All you’re meant to be
Come to know the things that are true
And live the life that’s meant for you..”

Out Of Eden - I know Lyrics for Song

“I Know” from the album Love, Peace and Happiness (2004) is inspired by a letter written to Out of Eden from a 14 year old fan, who grew up in a Christian home, and was pregnant for the third time. The letter was about the girl’s search for acceptance, and understanding that God loved her unconditionally. (Source: Christian Music Today, February 2004).

“Do you hear me, can you see me
Walking down the street needing you
I want to make it, how do I get there
If you show me that you cared, you know
You could make a difference..”

“Sarah Jane” from the album No Turning Back (1999) deals with the plight of children who find themselves on the streets (runaways, pregnant teens, abused children, children in gangs, etc.) whose cries for help often go ignored, and then are further victimized and exploited because they are vulnerable, and seeking security and often end up in worse situations. ”Sarah Jane” gives a name and a voice to children living on the streets but also is a message for adults to speak up, and help a child in need. Is a message to seek help at the first sign that a child is in trouble, to stop the cycle of violence that inevitably draws a child onto the streets.

Out Of Eden Lyrics - Sarah Jane

“The One who made
the stars and sun

gave meaning to my life
It’s my choice and I will decide,

I won’t let you destroy my pride
I’m no showpiece for you to hide,

and lose all that I am inside
God made me and I’m beautiful..”

“Showpiece”  from the album This is Your Life (2002) is a song with a message to young girls that their beauty and self worth is defined by their own deffinition–not by standards set by society or anyone else. Showpiece encourages girls to stand strong against pressure that “seems a shame to me I’ve been reduced to an object of lust and hate”, emphasizing that it’s your choice to set your own boundaries and what is right for you. Showpiece also sends a clear message that God made each person beautiful, and advises to set standards much Higher than “a Bentley or your diamond ring” but instead seek a relationship with God as the focus of your life

OUT OF EDEN - SHOWPIECE Lyrics

For More Information:

Out of Eden Online: http://www.outofedenonline.com/main.html

Christian Guitar, Out of Eden Announces Retirement 2006:

Out of Eden Announces Group’s Retirement - CGR Community

Interview with Christian Music Today, February 2004:

Out of Eden, 02/04 - Interviews - Christian Music Today

BP News, June 2002: Out of Eden takes message beyond their music - (BP)

 

Review* Just Because I Am

Title: Just Because I Am: A Child’s Book of Affirmations

Author:  Lauren Murphy Payne, M.S.W., Illustrations by Claudia Rohling

Ages: 2-8

Free Spirit Publishing Inc, Minneapolis: MN, 1994.

Website: http://freespirit.com/

l am myself. I am special and unique. — Just Because I Am, Lauren Murphy Payne, M.S. W.

Review: Just Because I Am discusses feelings, safety and taking care of your body in the voice of a child who is learning what it is to be “Me”.   Each page offers an exploration conveyed through colorful pictures and positive messages.   I also found the book to be a helpful tool in teaching a child assertiveness, and healthy boundaries.  Just Because I Am teaches children that it’s okay to say “yes” and “no”, and they have the power to decide what is best.   The themes of Just Because I Am are developing healthy self-esteem and affirming that children deserve respect.

I highly recommend this book; I found the tone and message easy for a child to understand and offers positive support.