Connection Between Abuse & Mental Illness

 “All i, seem to, think about is violence
It doesn’t matter if I’m dead sober or I’m bent
It’s strange, I’m not insane or at least I don’t think so
Or am i? you think so doc, truthfully I don’t know
I need a doctor to give me some therapy
I need a doctor to check my, my brain..”
Therapy by Heltah Skeltah

WHAT IS ABUSE?

Abuse: Patterns of violence, intimidation and threats used to gain control and/or compliance over another person. Aspects of abuse include: physical, sexual, emotional/mental, psychological and financial. Abuse is committed by one person who has power over the other, and exerts that power in harmful ways. Abuse can happen to people of all backgrounds and genders–socio economic, religious and cultural.

For More Information Visit: Domestic Violence (Myths, Safety Plan, Questions About Leaving, Resources, etc)http://www.domesticviolence.org

 Halton Women’s Place (What Is Abuse?): http://www.haltonwomensplace.com/abuse.htm

What is Abuse in Relationships: http://www.dvirc.org.au/whenlove/infospace.htm

CRAZY MAKING

 One tactic abuse is “crazy making”–when a perpetrator commits deliberate acts or manipulates to make a victim feel crazy, or to believe they are crazy. Feelings of disbelief, confusion and shame are all a part of crazy making. Crazy making can involve verbal abuse–threats, taunts, shame, blame, humiliation or name calling. Crazy making can involve physical abuse–coersion, retaliation. deprivation or physical harm. Often crazy making involves psychological tactics such as manipulation, stalking, isolating and acts that degrade or break down the self.

I found this song to be an of crazy making:

“You said: ‘You’re crazy, why do you keep doing this? Everything is fine.’ Then I think, I’m crazy I do this all the time Until I start to think that nothing’s even wrong [Chorus] Maybe I am Hiding in my own confusion Maybe we’re just A picture in my head Maybe what if it could be The way I wish it really was Maybe I don’t wanna see it The way it really is..”

The Way it Really Is by Lisa Loeb

For More Information Visit: Wearing Her Down, Understanding & Responding to Emotional Abuse: http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/wearing_her_down.html

Crazy Making, Some Disturbing Little Stories: http://www.dreamchild.net/caccrazemake.html

The Connection Between Abuse and Mental Health

Abuse can and will lead to varying degrees of mental and emotional decline. In many instances, a victim will not seek help or struggle to get help because they feel ashamed, that they are “crazy” or something is wrong with them or are afraid of the abuser. It may take a crisis before a victim seeks help–by then the problem is greatly exacerbated. In other instances, a victim may not be believed because they have a previous mental health condition or the affects of abuse present as a mental health problem. The affects of abuse on a victim can create a variety of problems from low self esteem, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress, destructive behavior (eating disorder, promiscuity, addiction, self injury), sleep disorder and phobias. Advocates working with abuse victims will need to work alongside professionals and medical providers to ensure the victim receives the help they need. Advocates will also play a crucial role in getting the victim help–and recognizing that abuse is taking place. An advocate may be a person working at a shelter or it may be a teacher, family member, friend or religious official. It may even be you.

 Facts on the connection between abuse and mental health

“Battered women are 4-5 times more likely than non-battered women to require psychiatric treatment. “ Violence Against Women Source: Tubman Family Alliance, http://www.tubmanfamilyalliance.org/need_help/being_abused/violence_facts.html

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“While that may seem like common sense, there is now a growing body of evidence indicating that experiencing abuse plays a significant role in the development and exacerbation of mental disorders and substance abuse problems, increases the risk for victimization, and influences the course of recovery from a range of psychiatric illnesses. Across studies of battered women, rates of:

(1) PTSD range from 54% to 84%

(2) Depression range from 63% to 77%

(3) Anxiety range from 38% to 75%

…Linking domestic violence advocacy with mental health and substance abuse service delivery is critical for the prevention of future violence and its sequelae.” –Domestic Violence & Mental Health Policy Initiative

http://www.dvmhpi.org

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“About a quarter of U.S. women suffer domestic violence, U.S. health officials reported on Thursday, with ongoing health problems that one activist likened to the effects of living in a war zone…The CDC said women who suffer domestic violence are three times as likely to engage in risky sex and 70 percent more likely to drink heavily than other women. They are also twice as likely to report that their activities are limited by physical, mental or emotional problems and 50 percent more likely to use a cane, wheelchair or other disability equipment, the CDC survey found.These women also were 80 percent more likely to have a stroke, 70 percent more likely to have heart disease or arthritis and 60 percent more likely to have asthma.” Quater of US women suffer domestic violence: CDC by Will Dunsham (3/8/0

http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/ocean/host.php?folder=12&page=497

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“All women who are experiencing or have experienced domestic violence will need emotional support of some kind, but their needs will vary. All women need to be listened to with respect and without being judged when they choose to talk about their experiences.” In conclusion, if you are a victim of abuse get help. You deserve to be safe. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. Your life depends on it. It will take time to be safe again, to heal and rebuild you life–but have hope because the first step begins in believing that you are worthy of love, respect and a better life. And with those steps comes a sense of power and strength that will only grow. Even in your struggles, your value as a person, and in the soul God placed in your body, is not diminished. You deserve love, respect and safety. Believe that.

For Additional Information:

The Women’s Aid Site include a “Survivor’s Handbook”. Here you will find common tactics used by abusers who use mental health (threats, name calling, shaming, creating distress/anxiety/fear etc) as a weapon against victims. Also includes tips on how to communicate with service providers, who may not believe your disclosure of abuse because you are seeking help for mental or emotional issues. Also includes tips how to survive after abuse. http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-survivors-handbook.asp?section=000100010008000100360002

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Domestic Abuse Victims Bring Complex Issues to Treatement by Eve Bender. Psychiatric News (June 4, 2004, Volume 39, Number 11): Information on how affects of abuse may affect a victim’s mental health, coping skills and relationships with others. Information on how psychiatrists and other medical professionals can assist victims in healing and seeking help. Discusses common myths and barriers that prevent victims from being taken seriously or being recognized when reporting abuse while also dealing with mental health issues. http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/39/11/14?maxtoshow=&HITS=20&hits=20&RESULTFORMAT=&stored_search=&FIRSTINDEX=0&tocsectionid=Professional*&displaysectionid=Professional+News&journalcode=psychnews

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You Are Not Crazy-Listen to What Verbal Abuse Sounds Like

“…he masterfully charms everyone he meets, just like he did to her when they first met…”

Includes Information about Abuse, Charateristics/Behavior of an Abuser, Eileen’s Journal and More http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/

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Violence Against Women With Disabilities (Facts, Recommendations for Service Providers to Help Victims, Education and More) http://www.bcm.edu/crowd/?pmid=1344#facts

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Coping As a Non Borderline/Coping with BPD Loved Ones List of Resources and Information on Abuse, Borderline Personality Disorder, Relationships, Dealing with Stress, Depression, Anger and Shame and More..

http://www.bpdresources.com/coping.html

 

Quote: Conning the System

“Abusive behavior did not make it into the diagnostic criteria of mental health disorders, nor were its psychodynamic, cultural and social roots explored in depth. As a result of this deficient education and lacking awareness, most law enforcement officers, judges, counselors, guardians, and mediators are worryingly ignorant about the phenomenon…The blissfully ignorant mental health professionals are simply unaware of the “bad sides” of the abuser – and make sure they remain oblivious to them. They look the other way, or pretend that the abuser’s behavior is normative, or turn a blind eye to his egregious conduct.” — Dr. Sam Vanknin, Conning the System

Link: http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily10.html

 

The Affects of Gambling on Children

 

Casino Kids: How Gambling Addiction Affects Children

Gambling is becoming a way of life, to the detriment of individual and family lives. Poker is becoming increasingly popular, now offered in neighborhood bars. Buses transport gamblers to casinos from convenient locations. Exposure on TV, video games and the Internet is increasing. Gambling is being considered as a means to increase revenue for the state. A new generation known as “Casino Kids are being raised among the fast action and blinking lights, an estimated 2.5 million children in the US are affected by a parent’s gambling addiction. An increased risk of divorce, abuse, and emotional problems are associated with families affected by gambling addiction. Family treatment is crucial to coping with problems caused by gambling addiction, especially for children who are most vulnerable when family functioning becomes disrupted.

 When the Chips are Down: Gambling Addiction 

     Biological studies show that gambling addiction is similar to chemical addiction. Like a chemical addiction, a gambler is unable to control the addiction, may experience mood swings (including depression, anxiety and euphoria), may seek immediate gratification and may use gambling as a means to escape pain or unresolved issues. Both gambling and chemical dependency are disorders that steadily progress. The addiction will consume the gambler and, if not addressed, will erode family relationships and the ability to participate in everyday life. Crisis intervention is crucial as many gamblers commit suicide, experience mental breakdowns or face financial ruin.

  Gamblers are not addicted to money, but to the “action”, the thrill and arousal of gambling. Through gambling the addict may seek self-gratification or an escape from problems. As the addiction progresses, the need for “action” becomes so great that the high of gambling is comparable to a cocaine high. Gambling addictions occur in cycles of winning, losing, and desperation. The “winning phase” is marked with euphoria; the gambler may be optimistic and entertain grandiose fantasies (often making promises involving their winnings or boasting of their status as a “high roller”). The excitement of gambling leads to increased bets and increased time spent at the casino. A gambling addict may neglect personal care, blackout or abandon social and family responsibility. The “losing phase” is marked with frustration and need to return to the casino to win back losses. In the “losing phase” a gambler may develop irrational thoughts or rituals involving the “cause” of their loss and how to resume winning. The gambler may blame or guilt others for the loss.  An example would be a gambler telling a spouse, “I only win when you support me, I loose when you don’t”. A gambler may also project their frustrations on others in aggression. In the “losing phase”, the gambler may blame others for their loss, turn to substance abuse, or experience severe life disruptions.  In the “desperation phase”, the gambler spends more time at the casino; “action” becomes the sole focus of the gambler. Or the gambler may feel guilt, which invites a need to “make up” for losses. In the “desperation phase” a gambler may borrow money, sell personal/family items or commit illegal acts to get more money to gamble. Gambling will often damage relationships with others, resulting in isolation and/or withdrawal for both the gambler and those affected. As the addiction progresses, the gambler is driven by compulsive urges to satisfy their need for “action” and cannot separate the casino from any other aspect of life. Preoccupation with gambling becomes so intense (reliving past gambling experiences, planning future ventures or initiating children into gambling), it becomes difficult, even painful, to stop gambling. A gambler may stop for a time only to return to the “action”, in which the phases of gambling addiction begin again.

Cycles of family violence may occur along side gambling addiction. A study conducted by the University of Nebraska Medical Center found that problem gambling is as much a risk factor for domestic violence as alcohol abuse. Feelings of frustration, desperation, hopelessness and anger caused by gambling addiction may incite family tension, stress and overall dysfunction. Emotional abuse is prevalent within families experiencing gambling addiction. The behavior of a gambling addict is unpredictable, resulting in disrupted family routines and for a child, a lack of security. Many children affected by gambling addiction report feeling profound loss and helplessness, comparable to the grief experienced after a death. The gambler may abandon the family, deplete finances, or berate family members for not “supporting” or not “understanding” their gambling. Living with a gambling addict often is described as “living a lie” and “living a nightmare”.

  A-B-C’s and 1-2-3 Cherries: Children Affected by Gambling Addiction 

Casinos create the illusion that gambling is “family friendly” by offering daycare, restaurants and entertainment. Nothing could be further from the truth: children ARE adversely affected by gambling addiction. From a young age, children are attune to family dynamics, and are keenly aware of turmoil. Through behavior, a child will express or mimic what is experienced in the home.

 

 

    The impact of gambling addiction on children is devastating. On an emotional level, children commonly feel betrayal, depression, anger, and anxiety. This in turn results in low self-esteem or difficult behaviors (such as regression, self-injuring, aggression and addictions). Further, the casino, or reminders of, may trigger anxiety or trauma, in which the child re-experiences feelings and memories associated with the parent’s gambling addiction. Children may also become fearful and unable to trust or become close to others. When the need to “win” or experience a “thrill” is modeled by a gambling parent, children may equate love with dangerous, thrill seeking behavior—or feel the need to compete with the casino, seeking attention with inappropriate behavior. In turn, children are set up to be further victimized or become addicts, themselves. The rates of neglect and abandonment (left in locked vehicles in casino parking lots or left alone without proper care) are high for children in families affected by gambling addiction. Many children will turn to addictions, including gambling, or substance abuse. Withheld feelings may result in mental or physical decline. Financial hardship caused by gambling may deprive a child of necessities, some families experience poverty and even, homelessness.

  Fold ‘Em: Healing after Gambling Addiction  

Gambling addiction must be acknowledged as a major addictive disorder in which professional help must be sought and relentlessly pursued. Counseling is effective in addressing psychological issues as well as offering guidance in repairing family relations. In addition, parenting support groups or classes may offer important skills and insights. If a family is fleeing domestic violence, seeking help and meeting safety concerns must be addressed; the support of a shelter or social service agency will offer crucial support and resources.

 

      A commitment to recovery is crucial to repairing family relations, and addressing the repercussions of gambling addiction. The road to recovery will not be easy–the gambler may continue to lie, manipulate or resist treatment. Despite the gambler’s condition, the needs of the child must come first. Children who have been affected by a parent’s gambling addiction will need help from an agency that specializes in working with children, as part of their healing, in addition to seeking support and/or therapy for the family. When seeking help, a child may resist change because they are afraid of losing a parent. Positive changes must be reinforced not only by getting help but also by modeling behavior. Turning to community agencies, faith based agencies or family and friends may offer support, and assist in upholding new changes. Being part of the community and enjoying activities, as a family, will create new experiences and outlets, replacing casinos with quality time. When dealing with gambling addiction, the best bet is for the well being of the child is to get help immediately.  

 

Link: Emotional Abuse Assessment Guide

 Education Wife Assault (Ontario, Canada) is a comprehensive website with information and resources to educate about abuse including ways to respond to abuse and resources on how to seek help. It also includes advice and help for victims who are disabled or deaf. The Assessment Guide is very easy to read, and easy to understand guide for anyone who suspects a friend or family member is being abused. This article will focus only on the “Emotional Abuse Assessment Guide” found here:

Assessment Guide

http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/assessment_guide.html

Emotional Abuse consists of behaviors that are threatening, intimidating, controlling and/or harmful and designed to take control of another person. Emotional abuse creates constant torment that may result in psychological as well as physical injury due to the stress, fear and anxiety inflicted on the victim; often perpetrators of emotional abuse escalate to other forms of abuse, including physical abuse. Education Wife Assault reports that: Emotional abuse is the greatest predictor of physical violence. Therefore, any woman who has been emotionally abused is also at risk of murder or suicide.

Victims of emotional abuse often change their thoughts, behaviors, feelings–even depriving themselves of their own needs–to avoid further abuse. Children who are emotionally abused are known to suffer from failure to thrive, and to develop behavioral problems including attachment disorders.

The Assessment Guide describes tactics used in emotional abuse, it is helpful to consider whether the acts are ongoing and repeated events or isolated events. However, if the acts are isolated, you may want to take that as a warning that something is wrong or needs to be changed. The Assessment Guide describes tactics of emotional abuse that include verbal abuse, isolation, threats, intimidation, sexual abuse, financial abuse and neglect.

The second part of the Assessment Guide discusses the impact of emotional abuse, and how to identify a woman who has been emotionally abused,” One constant for women who are abused is fear. In addition to the indicators listed below, there are two key questions used to assess if a woman is being emotionally abused: Does the woman indicate that she is fearful of negative reprisals from her partner if she does not do what he wants? Does the woman alter her behaviour, preferences or choices as a result of this fear?”

The last part of the Assessment Guide offers helpful suggestions on how to respond to emotional abuse, as well as discussing what is not helpful (many of the tactics that were not helpful, themselves, were forms of emotional abuse). The most important piece of advice offered is to take the victim seriously.