A Letter to Courageous Kids * I Support You <3

“For those of us who can speak out, we know that if we put our voices together, we can make a difference and change the family court system that is wrecking so many kids’ lives. The Courageous Kids Network is an organization dedicated to stopping the continuing assault on children’s human right to live free from abuse.” — A Message From the Courageous Kids Network

 

I am writing to give my support and prayers to all the Courageous Kids as well as the mothers fighting alongside them. If you are a mother who has lost her child to an abuser and endured family court warfare, my heart goes out to you. If you are a child who has been victimized by family court, and forced into an unsafe situation or feel utterly unprotected by the system, my heart goes out to you. I keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You are not alone.

For the lawyers, therapists, teachers, family members, clergy, friends and advocates–whoever you may be or whatever your role, I encourage you to take a moment to listen. The sounds of abuse may be as loud as broken glass, pounding fists or threatening phone calls–or as silent as unheard tears or homeless families wandering the streets or sanitized court records. I spent years of abuse in silence, trying to appease the rage of my abuser. I am now silenced by the family court; told not to talk about abuse, told I must forget because it all “happened in the past” and told I must look away as my children suffer. To raise my voice means I am causing a problem. Then begins a new battle, to overcome the enormous amount of “proof” required to “substantiate” my allegations and that of my children, to be verbally and emotionally attacked by vicious allegations and invented psychological labels, and finally to be threatened by the court staff that if I speak  out they will deny me contact with my children. We can do better. We must do better. The change begins when the best interest of our children is really what is safe, healthy and nurturing for the child. I encourage you to take a stand to advocate for our children, and for the families fighting to secure safety and stability in the midst of family court chaos. You may just save a life. The change begins when we begin to listen to our children, listen to the stories of family court atrocities and the various research and writing conducted on custody battles. The change begins when we, as a society, as a people,  will no longer tolerate domestic abuse nor the brutality perpetrated on children. The change begins with you.

I am a mother currently involved in family court warfare involving my 
children.  My child is too young to speak as clearly as the kids posting on Courageous Kids but his pictures and words are loud enough. My child draws pictures in crayon of the abuse he has suffered. My child draws pictures of the words “daddy” taught him–stupid, fuckin ass, bitch.  My child is drawing pictures of how he feels after being forced by family court to live with “daddy”–the pictures say the words “sad, “mad” and “bad”. The child in the picture has a frown that fills his entire face. In another picture, the child is standing in the middle of a rain storm and is being struck by lightning. My child has told me “I wanna die” and “I hate myself so much”. The guardian ad litem working with my family ignores my child’s distress and told me that I cannot “substantiate my allegations” and I have nothing to worry about because my abuser “has a house, a job and a car”. I was also told that since my abuser is not physically hurting me (I fled my home and now live in hiding) that there is no “abuse” happening. Meaning, I have to risk my own life in order to “prove” abuse. I would gladly put my life before my child’s; but if I did so my children would be left without a mother, and put into the hands of an abuser or perhaps, left to fend for themselves at the hands of child welfare services. I tell my story in hope that one day my children will know how much Mommy loves them, and that I did keep up the fight to protect them and give them a good home. I tell my story in hope that something can be done to protect another family-to give a voice to all those who have been silenced. And to encourage those brave fighters to keep on fighting for change, to keep on advocating, to keep on giving voice, to keep on living.

It is heart breaking as a parent to know that you cannot protect your 
children and you have to send them back to an abuser–or else.  It is sad that children are being forced into abusive situations and instead of healing, they now have to fight for their lives–and the child has to be the one to fight for change because so many have failed to protect them. I applaud Courageous Kids, and sympathize with your struggle. I pray for you and your families. I applaud your determination and courage in speaking out, and working for change. I support you. I will do whatever I can to help. I hope and pray that there will be many more who will stand alongside you and lend their support and help. And I believe there are just as many who support you in silence, in tears–afraid or unable to speak.

I also am writing to comment on Parental Alienation Syndrome article posted on Courageous Kids. The PAS article on the site states  that:
“Another thing that is important to know is that PAS is only used  against
protective parents who are middle or upper class and who have money to  spend
and assets to sell, to fight in court. It is never used on poor indigent  women,
like those on welfare who have no money to pay to lawyers, mediators, 
evaluators, etc“
I am a mother who has been labelled with PAS–not by any licensed medical 
professional–but by a biased judge and my abuser and his sleazy lawyer.  Poor women do get labelled with PAS and Malicious  Mom Syndrome. I believe PAS is used against women as a form of  intimidation, a weapon used to force the mother to give up the fight or risk  losing everything. Many women are afraid to leave their abusers because they feel they will become poor or unable to care for their children. One tactic of abusers is to gain control over their families by controlling the finances–making their partner desperately reliant on the abuser. The financial forms of abuse include: forcing someone to do something against their will in order to get money/food/something needed for survival, making a partner beg for money, depriving a partner of necessary items, and threatening to cause poverty or financial ruin (you’ll be on the streets, you won’t get a penny from me, etc) if the partner should leave. An abuser may label a mother with Parental Alienation or Malicious Mom Syndrome in order to create a lengthy, expensive legal battle that forces the mother to give up because she either cannot afford legal representation and court costs or she loses her assets trying to defend herself. When a mother loses her assets (home, car, credit) or even her job, Parental Alienation or Malicious Mom Syndrome is proven–she is now “unfit”! Being “poor” is can be used to justify PAS–as some kind of  proof that the mother is unfit, crazy or just not deserving custody. I think it is  important to note that false accusations of Parental Alienation and Malicious Mom syndrome affect women of all socio-economic levels and cultural backgrounds.

I cannot end this letter, not in good conscience. There is no “the end” or “happily ever after” when the cycles of domestic violence continue in the family court system. I express sympathy to the plight of the families enduring family court warfare. Abusers must be held accountable–they are the most likely to become repeat offenders, risking the lives of innocent children. Family court officials judges, guardian ad litems, counselors. attorneys and all involved in making decisions that affect the life and well being of a child must also be held accountable. Especially when they place a child at risk. I am not asking for change–I am demanding it.  As the old spiritual goes, “A change gon’ come, yes it will…”

Evanlee, 2008

Quotes-

“We lost our home, pets, toys, friends,… our childhood. We lived in fear, depression, hopelessness and helplessness for years. Some of us ran away from our abusers. Some could not handle the trauma and committed suicide. We who survived, got older and stronger. Now we are telling the world how much we were hurt, first by our abusers and then by the court that refused to protect us.” Courageous Kids Network
http://courageouskids.net

 

“According to Wilder Research Center:46 percent of homeless women report staying in an abusive relationship because they had nowhere else to live, 69 percent of homeless women have children under age 18; and 53 percent have at least one child with them…” MN Coaltion for the Homeless

 http://www.mnhomelesscoalition.org/resources/toolkits/battered-women/facts/

 

“According to the one-day survey snapshot, taken on April 14, 2004, of the 6,109 women and children residing in shelters, about 5,000 had escaped an abusive situation representing about three-quarters of all women residing in shelters…The vast majority of the women staying in shelters to escape abuse were fleeing psychological or emotional abuse. Almost 7 out of 10 reported physical abuse, 50% threats, 46% financial abuse, 31% harassment and 27% sexual abuse…” The Daily, Canada (6/15/2005): http://www.statcan.ca/Daily/English/050615/d050615a.htm

 

“You may be told that you have to “accept” the court’s decision when your child is placed with the identified abuser. No moral citizen should be expected to accept what is wholly unacceptable: the willful sacrifice of a child to a life of rape and/or battery.” Kim Anderson, California Protective Parents

http://protectiveparents.com/president.html

 

 

Resources-

 

The Courageous Kids Network Includes- Support, Stories of Children, Suggestions for Children Involved in Family Court Disputes and Forced to Live with an Abuser, and Links

Courageous Kids Network: We, the Courageous Kids Network, are a growing group of young people whose childhood was shattered by biased and inhumane court rulings, which forced us to live with our abusive parent, while restricting or sometimes completely eliminating contact with our loving and protective parent. We know how horrible it is to be forced into the arms of an abuser. We have been there. We are now free.

http://courageouskids.net

 

California Protective Parents Association (Case Studies, Articles, Events, Resources):

http://protectiveparents.com/

 

Child Abuse and Neglect: Signs,Syptoms and Types

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm

 

Child Help (1-800-4-A-Child):

Staffers at the hotline can help:

Victims: children and teens who have been abused

Survivors of child abuse

Abusers: people who have abused a child or who are afraid that they may abuse a child

Witnesses to child abuse

Childhelp cannot make a report of child abuse for you, but it can set up a three-way call with your local enforcement agency. You can also call your local enforcement agency directly to report child abuse.

http://www.childhelp.org/

 

Financial Abuse in Marriage:

http://www.weddingvendors.com/planning/articles/financial-abuse-marriage/

 

Wellesley Centers for Women: Battered Mothers Fight to Survive the Family Court System

http://www.wcwonline.org/o-rr25-1b.html

 

What is Financial or Economic Abuse?

http://www.mamashealth.com/abuse/finabuse.asp

 

”Living in the Past”: Family Court Dismisses Concerns of Abuse

When I hear about the death of a child due to abuse, my heart trembles with fear that the next child in the news may be my own. Due to a ruling by family court, I am forced to make my child go on unsupervised visits, lasting up to eight hours, with the father—who has a long criminal history, a history of violence and a history of drug and alcohol addiction. My child often says, “I’m afraid Dad will hit me.” When my child plays “house” using dolls, the male is yelling at and hitting the female. My child’s play gets so intense that there have been times I have been hit with a doll that is hurled across the room or called “bitch ass” and “stupid”. The guardian ad litem has negated my concerns with the statement of “you’re living in the past”—meaning just because someone has a history of violence doesn’t mean there is any chance past behavior will be repeated.

 

 

“Living in the past” means the guardian ad litem refuses to consider that my ex is the third generation of his family, to be involved in addiction, criminal acts and domestic violence. When I attempted to inform family court of the abuse I have endured including being slammed to the floor, threatened, and hit with objects, I was told that I need counseling because I am “upset” and my fear may cause my child to have a bad relationship with the father. The abuser has not been recommended to any counseling and effectively has been able to avoid any real responsibility for his actions. In the end, the children will suffer.

 

The system fails to protect families and children from violence and instead gives the perpetrator an excuse, and means, to further harm and intimidate the already vulnerable. The reason for this—“you’re living in the past”. Protecting children from dangerous family situations must go beyond throwing the perpetrator in jail but also must include a justice and family court system that is trained and responsive to effectively handle situations of family violence, and be willing to put personal agendas aside in order to protect the children.

 

Evanlee, 2008.

 

Capn’ Hook: A Pirate Alienation Story

 

A Pirate Alienation Story” is a classic tale dedicated to Dr. Richard Gardner updated with spectacular courtroom antics and unbelievable legal loopholes that will leave single mothers stunned and abusers cheering and sneering. “Cap’n Hook” is a modern remake of Steve Spielberg’s 1991 film, “Hook” with an all star cast: Alec Baldwin as Cap’n Hook, Paris Hilton as Tinkerbell and John Edwards as middle-aged lawyer Peter Banning aka Peter Pan. This must-see film is rated “G”, in the best interest of the children, of course. 

   In this new adventure, Peter Pan flees Neverland after being forced to “walk the plank” and other abuse committed by Capn’ Hook. Peter strips off his tights and elfish hat with red feather to join the modern world, where he struggles to forget his past. He grows up to become a middle-aged lawyer named Peter Banning whose hair is sprayed on from a can and whose ability to spit legal jargon can rival any hard core rap artist. Peter marries Moira Darling, and invites everyone to the wedding but Cap’n Hook—who holds a grudge. Peter and Moira have two children together, and life seems normal until Cap’n Hook crashes through the window, in his pirate ship, demanding custody of the children through a legal loophole called “Pirates Rights”. An outrageous custody battle, clashing with dueling swords, begins. Cap’n Hook hires Dr. Richard Gardner (played by Robert Blake) as an expert witness who condemns both Moira and Peter with various mental conditions, using unproven, unscientific theories to bolster his claims. Dr. Gardner proclaims Moira is a “feisty wench” and Peter is suffering from “Peter Pan Syndrome”. Worst of all, they have alienated the children from Cap’n Hook!

A judge with an eye patch and peg leg, an hunch back guardian ad litem who has joined the “Pirates Rights Movement” and various other corrupt family court officials then grant Cap’n Hook full custody of both children. Peter and Moira are ordered to pay child support and are slapped with a gag order to remain silent or face being sent to the dungeon. An hour of supervised visitation every blue moon is granted to both parents, if they can make their way through an overgrown labyrinth then cross a moat to a heavily guarded tower in the middle. Cap’n Hook whisks the children away on his pirate ship, captured in a net.           

In the eyes of the court, Cap’n Hook is a sympathetic pirate who has employed hundreds of thieves, smugglers and petty criminals aboard his ship. His quarters are lavishly decorated with troves of treasure and the skull and cross bones on his flag show he is firm disciplinarian, not an abuser. Cap’n Hook provides attention and nurturing to the children by exposing them to gambling, drinking and providing schooling aboard the ship that includes swordplay and Pirate-bonics such as “Arrrgh!” and “Aye, Matey!” Despite his best efforts, both children express that they miss their parents and often cry, as a result of the rigorous brainwashing Peter and Moira have inflicted. Dr. Gardener counsels Cap’n Hook. Dr. Gardener assures that full custody is the only cure for “pirate alienation syndrome” and that Moira is only hateful Cap’n Hook because she has a secret lust for the pirate. As for Peter, the Lost Boys hardly provided a legal defense with their slingshots and grade-school taunts. While aboard the ship, Cap’n Hook tries to convince both children that their parents hate them, and works hard to manipulate them into becoming pirates. He almost succeeds if not for Tinkerbell, who has stolen onto the ship in an effort to try to with the children back to Peter and Moira. High fashion Tinkerbell flits amid the pirate ship among glittering pixie dust and disco music, bringing a musical score to “Cap’n Hook” as the pirates break out in song and dance, and the children sneak off the ship in a dingy. “Cap’n Hook: A Pirate Alienation Movie” will leave viewers stunned in its explosive finale, followed by exclusive web cam clips of the provocative Tinkerbell.  

Note: This essay is based on the 1991 movie “Hook”. There is a scene in “Hook” where Captain Hook has stolen the children of Peter Pan, and attempts to alienate the children by telling them that their parents don’t love them, and manipulates the children’s feelings to instigate hostility against their parents. I also found it interesting that in “Hook” a Lost Boy child named Rufio is killed by Captain Hook when stabbed in the heart with a sword. The movie largely ignored the death of Rufio, and Peter Pan was even willing to give Captain Hook a second chance—the death of this child went unnoticed and unpunished. Many of the fairytale events in this film echo the unbelievable injustice and drama of the family court system.

Evanlee, 2008 

The Parental Alienation Syndrome: Is It Scientific? by Stephanie J. Dallam, RN, MSN, FNP

 http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/res/dallam/3.html

 _____________ 

Stop Family Violence: Parental Alienation Articles Page 

http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/ocean/host.php?folder=63 

 ______________

“..(Because of) the given tendency for incestuous fathers to deny their abuse, the more normal appearing and less disturbed abusers may be more effective at preventing disclosure.”

“While some studies reported some fathers with evidence of psychological disturbance, Williams and Finkelhor found that the majority of incestuous fathers are unlikely to manifest severed [sic] psychiatric impairment. Indeed, they felt they could state with confidence that ‘there are an important group of incestuous fathers, at least a quarter or a third, who seem virtually completely normal, and who would likely pass psychological testing or psychiatric evaluation without problem.’
‘CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE: TREATMENT, PREVENTION AND DETECTION’
by Rod O’Connor, Senior Research Fellow at Monash University
in Australia.
http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=347329
The pdf file can be downloaded and viewed here:
http://chpe.buseco.monash.edu.au/pubs/wp16.pdf

Or you can read it in your browser from Google’s cache:
http://216.239.39.104/search?q=cache:od5iIDN0EywJ:chpe.buseco.monash.edu.au/pubs/wp16.pdf 

__________________________ 

Personality Traits in Abusive Relationships

http://www.recovery-man.com/abusive/abuse_rel_types.htm

“Abusiveness is a family dysfunction that repeats through generations. Just as addictions pass down through generations, abusers often leave their families for a family of choice - then repeat the abusive cycle from the other side….Abusive relationships are marked by attempts by the abuser to isolate their partner from social interaction. This is due to jealousy and to an unconscious awareness that outsiders will see the relationship dynamics and attempt to intervene.”

 

Battered Women, Abused Children, and Child Custody: A National Crisis. 5th Annual Conference.

Event: Battered Women, Abused Children, and Child Custody: A National Crisis. Fifth Annual Conference.

Date: January 11-13, 2008

Location: Clarion Hotel and Conference Center, Albany New York

Website: http://batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/

About: Battered Women, Abused Children & Child Custody: A National Crisis was established in 2003 by two mothers, Therese Hannah, Ph.D. (Chair) of Latham, NY, and Liliane Heller Miller (Vice-Chair) of Charlotte, NC. The goal of BAC is to raise awareness of the complex issues, and problems facing battered women in and out of family court. The BAC documents, through research and scholarly information, the human rights and legal violations that deny battered women due process in the family court system, and often put children at risk. Through a public forum, The Conference offers discussions, presentations and stories of survivors. “It is open to lay persons, and of special interest to advocates, social workers, psychologists, attorneys, judges, legal personnel, and others involved in the issue of battered women’s and abused children’s legal and civil rights violations by family courts, DSS, and other government systems.”

The Conference also offers healing and support for families struggling against the injustices of the family court system.

BAC is, “..a self-sustaining, grassroots phenomenon that is entirely the volunteer work product of it’s creators and presenters.   We have no paid staff, nor are we financially supported by or affiliated with any particular group, organization, gender-based ideology, or political agenda.”

Also on this site: “Children Taken by The Family Courts” Quilt

Link: www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/quilt.htm

About the Quilt: Mothers who have lost physical custody of their children through family court or divorce proceedings are invited to create a quilt panel (or square) to commerate their child(ren). You do not have to attend The Conference to contribute to the quilt. Instructions for creating a quilt square and mailing them to the BAC project are included online at the above link.

Litigating Custody with Batterers

Link: http://batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/Litigating_custody_with_batterers_1.htm

http://batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/Litigating_custody_with_batterers_2.htm

Web links related to family court proceedings, survival guide for family court (Link 2), domestic violence, support for survivors, related facts/information and advocacy for abused children.

For Consideration:

End abusers from getting custody: Online Petition (NOT affiliated with conference or BWAC).
http://www.petitiononline.com/endtrend/petition.html

 

Review: A Parent’s Guide to the “System”

Author:  Cheryl Barnes

Website:

http://www.geocities.com/family_rights_wv/cpswatch/parents_guide.html#Assert%20Your%20Parental%20Rights

A Parent’s Guide to the “System” is a free online article discussing a parent’s rights when a child is placed out of home by a government agency or a parent is involved in an investigation by a government agency. It includes basic information on court proceedings, the rights of a parent and how to exercise those rights and advice on how to protect your child from abuse while in state care.

Much of the advise presented  is useful in many areas of involved by government or court officials. For example, under the heading “Demand a Copy of the Search Warrant” this could apply to dealing with Child Protective Services as easily as communicating with a guardian ad litem (emphasis on the language, not the search warrant):”Don’t be intimidated. Keep a proper perspective of the situation; you are willing to cooperate within the law.  The law dictates that a search warrant is required before entering a private home.  Your position should be:

I do want to cooperate.

I do not want to ignore proper procedure.

Why would you want to circumvent clearly established laws and procedures? “

I found the advice in this article to be very helpful

___________________________________________

To be fair I am offering more info about Suzanne Shell. From what I have seen on the web, Suzanne Shell is a highly determined, and controversial, family advocate, author and attorney fighting for parent’s rights and speaking out against injustice in the system. If there is a balanced counter view, I will post a link. However, I am asking for respect in the position you take–personall attacks and obscenties will not be tolerated.
Suzanne, feel free to leave a statement or any info about yourself or American Family Advocacy Center if you like.

More Info on Suzanne Shell:

Profane Justice (Suzanne’s site offers information on Family Rights, Information on Training Seminars, Letter and Advice to Foster Children and much more..)
http://www.profane-justice.org

Wikipedia- Suzanne Shell
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suzanne_Shell

“Children of the State” by Mark Stout and Gail M. Armstrong, for “Freedom Magazine”. An article about parents whose rights were violated by the corruption of the (family services/human services, CPS) system that traumatizes children by unfairly taking them out of homes, with commentary by Suzanne Shell.
http://www.freedommag.org/english/vol32I1/page02.htm

 

Parental Alienation: A Poem

 

Cries go unheard

A small voice is sinking

In muddy bruises

 

 

Dr. Gardner has decreed

This mother is unfit

A sexually frustrated Venus

 

 

Rage has broken

The shackles of silence

A gentle hand, eases forth a terrible secret

 

 

Dr. Gardner has proclaimed

The therapist is just as paranoid, as delusional

As the mother who bravely told her story

 

 

There is no escape from the nightmares

She will squeeze her legs shut and scream

She will draw blood with small fingernails

 

 

Dr. Gardner believes mandated reporting is wrong

Children are naturally sexual,

Molestation is not necessarily traumatic

 

 

Lightning has struck twice

In white hot rage leashed upon the family

In electric currents guided by judicial order

 

 

Dr. Gardner has been paid well for expert testimony

Immediately remove the child from the fanatic mother

To return to the custody of the abuser

 

 

Children have run away

Children have committed suicide

Children have been traumatized for life

 

 

Dr. Gardner has slashed himself,

His blood drowns the innocent

In the unscientific, unproven accusation

Of parental alienation syndrome.

 

 

Evanlee, ©2007

__________________________

  For Consideration:  

“Gardner emphasizes in his ‘American Fatherhood’ article that ‘… it is also important that the therapist be court ordered and have direct input to the judge. This can often be facilitated by the utilization of a guardian ad litem or a child advocate, who has the opportunity for direct communication with the court. The mother must know that any obstructionism on her part will be immediately reported to the judge, either by the therapist or though the guardian ad litem or child advocate. The court must be willing to impose sanctions such as fines or jail. The threat of loss of primary custody can also help such mothers ‘remember to cooperate.‘” How “Parental Alienation Syndrome” is Used Against Mothers and Children Who Allege Child Sexual Abuse by Trish Wilson. http://www.feminista.com/archives/v1n2/wilson.html

A court’s reliance on PAS in custody decisions puts abused children at extreme risk of further abuse by the offending parent.  PAS is used to discount a child’s outcries of physical or sexual abuse as the product of the other parent’s hostility toward the accused abuser.  Courts relying on PAS frequently fail to investigate the child’s allegations, and they often reject independent evidence of the abuse.  Therefore, the child who courageously has come forward to report abuse is ignored and even chastised, and therefore further abused, by the very system that has promised to protect him/her.  The message is powerful and often plays right into the cruel admonition of the abuser:  “If you tell, no one will believe you.” Parental Alienation Syndrome: A Guide for Attorneys or Pro Se  Litigants (Highly Recommend this Article). http://www.jfcadvocacy.org/amicus-briefs/HOU_400991_13.DOC

“To date, none of the studies necessary to judge the validity of Gardner’s so-called syndrome have been conducted. In 2006, the Children’s Legal Rights Journal (a multi-disciplinary journal published in conjunction with the American Bar Association Center on Children and the Law, the National Association of Counsel for Children, and the Loyola University School of Law) and the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges each published analyses finding no scientific or legal basis for the use of PAS. And yet, PAS keeps making appearances in courts across the country, subverting and perverting the pursuit of justice one family at a time.” Sick Joke or Sick Reality? “Below the Belt: A Biweekly Weekly Column, 5/17/2007″. by NOW President Kim Gandy. http://www.now.org/news/note/051707.html 

“Melbourne University professor of psychiatry Alasdair Vance agrees, saying PAS has no standing in mainstream psychiatry or medicine and that research indicated children were more reliable than adults in reporting sex abuse. ‘It is not helpful for the community to be hoodwinked by information that’s not rigorously tested.’ he said.” Pedophiles use ‘junk’ theory to win custody. By Peter Ellingsen. The Age, Australia. http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2004/10/02/1096527990335.html?from=storylhs For More Information about Parental Alienation Syndrome, Dr. Richard Gardner and PAS Shennanigans in Ohio Visit: http://cincinnatipas.com/

 

An Analysis on Parental Alienation Syndrome and a Response to Dr. Richard Gardner. Excerpt: “HOWEVER, these guys are psychiatrists and psychologists!  All the while they claim no liability for “misuse” of PAS theory, THEY KNOW EXACTLY how their theory is going to be read, used, perceived!  (And if that isn’t enough, consider the self-interest of one who is earning a living writing about or using PAS theory, whether as a defense lawyer or as an expert witness.)”visit: http://www.thelizlibrary.org/liz/lizonpas.htm  

Resources on Parental Alienation Syndrome, Legal Issues and the Validity of Abuse Raised in Custody Disputes: Kourts for Kids Inc. http://www.kourtsforkids.org/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=27&Itemid=2

 

A Compilation of Quotes: Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

Judge James Mize, Sacramento Superior Court, representing the California Judicial Council and the California Judges Association, testified before the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee regarding parental alienation syndrome on May 6, 2003:   “I have taught family law to judges. I have taught every single newly-appointed and newly-assigned family law judge in the State of California for the last eighteen months. …. I have told them (the last 120 judges who have been through this training) Parental Alienation Syndrome does not exist, it is not to be considered.” Lack of Empirical Data, Research or Scientific Basis to Support the Controversial Psychological Theory Called Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS): PAS is Not Generally Accepted in the Scientific Community. The Family Court Reform Coalition’s memorandum investigating the lack of scientific support for PAS.http://www.jfcadvocacy.org/amicus-briefs/FCRCMemo.doc

“Domestic violence is about control, not anger. Once a victim says ‘I’m leaving you,’ the last thing the batterer has over the victim is the children,” Katie Foster, regional training coordinator for the family violence division of the Dallas County district attorney’s office. Family violence issue at seminar: Dallas: Parental alienation syndrome leads conference. The Dallas Morning News (10-27-2006). By Kim Horner.http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/localnews/stories/DN-familyviolence_27met.ART0.North.Edition1.3e56364.html

 “When mental health experts or attorneys claim that P.A.S. is a ’syndrome’– knowing full well that it lacks scientific validity, is the concoction of a disgraced psychologist, and has been soundly rejected by the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges — that is disingenuous at best and unethical at worst.  Moreover, when it is used as a vehicle to keep children in the custody of men who abuse them, it is also immoral. ” , Randy Burton, Founder, Chairman and President - Justice for Children. http://www.jfcadvocacy.org/pas.asp

 “PAS is not research-based, and it has done a great injustice to the family and the justice system. The criteria that Dr. Gardner has developed are virtually useless. He operates on the premise that if you say a lie often enough people will believe it.”, Jon Conte, a psychologist at the University of Washington. “Has Psychiatry Gone Psycho?” by Kelly Patricia O’Meara. Insight on the News (4-26-199)http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1571/is_15_15/ai_54451069/pg_1   

“The vast majority of these mothers (97%) reported that court personnel ignored or minimized reports of abuse. They reported feeling that they were punished for trying to protect their children and 65% said they were threatened with sanctions if the “talked publicly” about the case. In all, 45% of the mothers say they were labeled as having Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). The protective parents reported that the average cost of the court proceedings was over $80,000. Over a quarter of the protective parents say they were forced to file bankruptcy as a result of filing for custody of their children. Eighty-five percent of the protective parents surveyed believe that their children are still being abused; however, 63% say they stopped reporting the abuse for fear that contact with their children will be terminated. Eleven percent of the children were reported to have attempted suicide.” “Myths That Place Children At Risk During Custody Litigation”. Dallam. S. J., & Silberg, J. L. (Jan/Feb 2006). Leadership Council. Sexual Assault Report, 9(3), 33-47. http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/res/cust_myths.html   

“In contrast to the empirically unsupported notion of Parental Alienation Syndrome, these more complex multidimensional models have received preliminary research support. A comprehensive assessment identifying reasons for rejection is critical, because it provides the basis for appropriate intervention. If a parent is being rejected primarily for reasons such as moralistic thinking by the children (e.g., tied to developmental stage), lack of resources (e.g., not as many toys as the other parent’s house), and negative comments by the custodial parent, then therapeutic intervention to rebuild the relationship between the rejected parent and children would be indicated. In contrast, if a careful assessment found that rejection was more closely tied to the non–custodial parent’s history of violence and continued attempts to monitor and harassthe children and primary caregiver, then interventions to create safety for the children and caregiver would be more important that treating the ‘alienation.’”“Making appropriate parenting arrangements in family violence cases: applying the literature to identify promising practices. 2005–FCY–3E.” Research Report, Department of Justice, Canada.http://www.justice.gc.ca/en/ps/pad/reports/2005-FCY-3/chap4.html#4_3  

“It is also worth noting that Dr. Gardner often expressed disdain for child abuse professionals, labeling them “validators,” theorizing that greed and desire for increased business prompted some sexual abuse allegations, and speculating that parents and professionals alike made some false allegations because “all of us have some pedophilia within us.” “Parental Alienation Syndrome: What Professionals Need to Know Part 1″. By Erika Rivera Ragland1 & Hope Fields. http://www.ndaa.org/publications/newsletters/update_volume_16_number_6_2003.html#  

“PAS does not meet the courts’ threshold requirement to qualify as scientific. Clearly then, the offering of PAS to the courts as an explanatory construct, let alone a basis for making recommendation about the future of children’s lives, does not meet the minimal set of ethical standards incumbent on experts appearing before the court….Because his (Dr. Richard Gardner’s) theories are based on his clinical observations (not on scientific data) they should be understood in the context of his atypical views concerning parent child relations..”“Parental Alienation Syndrome: Frye v Gardner in the Family Courts (Part 2)” By Jerome H. Poliacoff, Ph.D., P.A., Cynthia L. Greene, Esq., and Laura Smith, Esq (Article also includes alternative factors to PAS, caselaw in various states, and in depth research)http://expertpages.com/news/parental_alienation_syndrome2.htm  

Dr. Paul Fink, a professor of psychiatry at Temple University School of Medicine and a past president of the American Psychiatric Association in Arlington, Va quotes on PAS include:“This is junk science”“He (Dr. Gardner) invented a concept and talked as if it were proven science. It’s not.”“There are lots of people who alienate their partners during a divorce, But it is not a syndrome, a disease or a disorder.”“Richard Gardner and Parental Alienation Syndrome: The debate rages on…”. By Jamie Talan, Newsday.com, July 1, 2003. http://www.ipce.info/library_3/files/pasyndrome.htm 

“According to David Shaffer, M.D., chair of APA’s DSM-IV Work Group on Disorders Usually First Diagnosed During Infancy, Childhood or Adolescence, PAS has not been proposed as a syndrome or mental disorder to any DSM committee. Shaffer said that a large number of clinicians have observed what Gardner describes as PAS. However, ‘in my opinion, this is a psychological process that occurs within families rather than a diagnostic profile that falls within the province of the DSM.’,” said Shaffer“ “Controversial Syndrome Arises In Child-Custody Battles”. Psychiatric News (9-1-2009). By Christine Lehmann. http://www.psych.org/pnews/00-09-01/controversial.html 

 “In 1996 a leading task force of the APA published a widely disseminated and relied-upon report: Titled ‘Violence and the Family,’ written by the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family, and published by the American Psychological Association, it is based on a comprehensive review of the literature and research on violence in the family.
The Report states, among other things:
‘When children reject their abusive fathers, it is common for the batterer and others to blame the mother for alienating the children. They often do not understand the legitimate fears of the child. Although there are no data to support the phenomenon called parental alienation syndrome, in which mothers are blamed for interfering with their children’s attachment to their fathers, the term is still used by some evaluators and courts to discount children’s fears in hostile and psychologically abusive situations.” (page 40) “THE TRUTH ABOUT PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME AND THE AMERICAN PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION”. Statement by Professor Joan S. Meier, Esq. (November 9, 2005). Compiled by Trish Wilson, 2005. Trish Wilson offers alot of articles and resources on her site,http://members.aol.com/asherah/meier1.html 

 “It is interesting that Gardner advocates severing the relationship between a child and a mother who he considers to be emotionally abusive, yet he stresses maintaining and building the relationship whenever possible with fathers who have been found to have sexually abused their child. For example, in reference to sexually abusive fathers, Gardner (1992b, p. 572) states: “There is no such thing as a parent who is perfect .. The sexual exploitation has to be put on the negative list, but positives as well must be appreciated (by the child)..” “The Parental Alienation Syndrome: Is It Scientific?” by Stephanie J. Dallam, RN, MSN, FNP, The Leadership Council. http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/res/dallam/3.html 

 “WORLD reviewed histories on 13 PAS cases—in California, Texas, New York, North Carolina, Georgia, Utah, and other states. These cases had something in common: documentation. In all 13 cases, court records show the mother had already been found a fit parent, and was in most cases already the primary custodial parent. In all 13, court-appointed psychologists ignored children’s testimony of sexual abuse, and in some cases, medical findings of abuse, and even previous sex-offender violations. And in all 13 cases, court-appointed mediators concluded that the mothers had inculcated PAS in their children and recommended Dr. Gardner’s standard prescription: to strip custody from the mother and place the child with the father for ‘deprogramming.’” “Little girls lost?: Embraced in family courts across the country, a controversial “syndrome” may be placing abused children at risk” by Lynn Vincent. WORLD Magazine (2-08-2003). http://www.worldmag.com/articles/6825   

“PAS has no credibility, validity or utility in the respective medical or child protection communities and in accordance with the Queensland Supreme Court ruling, the use of the label in judicial proceedings could be viewed as prejudicial to those proceedings in the absence of factual evidence and makes a presumption of guilt of the accused residency parent which it is proper for a Court to decide on the basis of factual evidence.It is seriously flawed reasoning which assumes that a child is being untruthful about abuse without a very careful and thorough investigation of the child’s allegations and an examination of the corroborative evidence and that a parent is misrepresenting or falsely presenting the allegations of the child. When children make a report or disclosure that they have been abused, what they say must never be dismissed, ignored, or disregarded by any adult but should be carefully listened to and inquiries made to establish corroborative evidence, much of which can be found in changes in their moods, temperament, and behaviours.”, Charles Pragnell, Expert Witness in Child Protection  in the U.K. and Australasia, and a Child/Family Advocate.”Parental Alienation Syndrome Leading.”  Child WebMag. http://www.childrenwebmag.com/content/view/280 

 “Parental alienation happens, but there’s no clinical syndrome you can say in court and get away with. Richard Gardner was a charlatan, and hundreds of women and children across the country have been damaged because of his crazy idea. PAS is not in the DSM-IV and it never will be.”, Paul Jay Fink, professor of psychiatry at Temple University School of Medicine. When a Bad Divorce Gets Ugly:  Baldwin call may reflect alienation, The San Diego Union-Tribune (5-13-2007). By Melissa Fletcher Stoeltje.
http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20070513/news_1c13alien.html

Patrick Standifer, the San Jose attorney who represented Kathy Justi, accused of parental alienation and lost primary custody of her daughter as a result,” There is not enough emphasis on the parent/child relationship that is commonly the mother. It’s turned into a parents’ rights statement, whereby psychologists are critical of the mother’s ability to share the child. Therefore, they remove custody and give it to the father. That’s using the child to placate public policy.” Custom Custody.  Metroactive News (4-03-1997) * IssuesIFamily Court Bias. By Michael Learmonth. http://www.metroactive.com/papers/metro/04.03.97/court-9714.html

___________________________________

“Courageous Kids Can’t Be Fooled-PAS Exposed for What It Is”http://www.courageouskids.net/pas.htm

   Dear Citizens Of Illinois, Please read and sign your name and town to the bottom of this petition and forward this to everyone you know who resides in the state of Illinois. I have already sent this petition to Congressman Lipinski when I contacted him regarding the fact that innocent children are being removed from their loving caretakers and placed in the custody of batterers and molesters, where overwhelming evidence has been presented and ignored by judges and court appointed Guardians Ad Litem . Judges and Guardians Ad Litem are denying domestic violence victims (including children) due process, violating standard court procedure and failing miserably at protecting our children. As I write this, my five year old little boy Jason is being abused with the blessing of corrupt Cook County judges. The beauty of it for them is they think that they are above the law. (View petition in full and sign at)
http://www.petitiononline.com/illinois/petition.html 

 New policies need to be set in our Massachusetts Family & Probate Courts with regards to the use of this unsound theory as a defense in custody cases. I would urge Governor Deval Patrick to research this topic in depth and educate the legal community to make the proper changes necessary to protect our children. As a mother, educator, and active community member, who has experienced the tragedy first hand, I would welcome the opportunity to share my knowledge with the Governor. Say NO to Parental Alienation Awareness Day! The use of this invalid theory is dangerous, unethical, and unconstitutional.

(View petition and sign at

http://devalpatrick.com/issue.php?issue_id=7619037

 National Organization for Women denounces Parental Alienation Syndrome:http://www.now.org/organization/conference/resolutions/2006.html#pas

 

A Short Note on PAS/Dr. Phil Parenting Mistakes

 

Food for thought…. Dr. Phil taped a show about mistakes parents can make during or after divorce. I agree with Dr. Phil that parents can make choices that adversely affect the child, and that if divorce issues are not handled carefully children will be hurt. I do not believe or endorse Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), nor was this episode of Dr. Phil discussing PAS.  However, I thought Dr. Phil’s thoughts would be interesting to consider or discuss in relation to PAS, and in the broader context of healing family relations.

Here is a link to “Post-Divorce Parenting Mistakes and Strategies” on Dr.Phil.com: http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/242

Post-divorce parenting is fraught with danger, danger that you will inadvertently do damage on top of what the divorce has already done. To help you recognize mistakes you may be making and to avoid mistakes you’re prone to make, Dr. Phil lists some of the biggest and most frequent mistakes those in your situation typically make:

Sabotaging your child’s relationship with the other parent.

Using your child as a pawn to “get back at” or hurt your ex.

Using your child to gain information or to manipulate and influence your ex.

Transferring hurt feelings and frustrations toward your ex onto your child. (You may be particularly prone to this if your child bears physical or behavioral resemblances to your ex.)

Forcing your child to choose a side when there’s a conflict in scheduling or another planning challenge.

Turning family events attended by both divorced parents into pressure cookers. Events that call for sensitivity include birthdays, holidays, school programs, extracurricular activities and performances.

Depending too much on your children for companionship and support because you’re hurt and lonely and have adopted a siege mentality: “It’s us against the world.” This isn’t a healthy position for either you or your child to adopt.

Treating your child like an adult because you’re lonely or just want help. It is inappropriate to give your child an adult job.

Becoming so emotionally needy that your child develops feelings of guilt if he or she spends time or even wants to spend time with your ex, friends, grandparents or others.

Converting guilt over the divorce into overindulgence when it comes to satisfying your child’s material desires.Besides making a commitment to avoid these mistakes, you should affirmatively commit to a family and parenting strategy that will help your child flourish in a divorced home.

The site does include strategies to implement positive changes. I believe that after a divorce, the family is changed but still, a family relationship exists–because children are involved. There are alot of resources to get additional help with problems including: counseling, parenting classes, parenting & divorce classes, mediation services and if needed, family court services. If the relationship between the adults is so toxic that the children are being adversely affected I believe it is best to seek additional help because work will need to be done to create a functional relationship and seek reasonable agreements in an environment that is safe and unbiased while focusing in the best interest of the children.

I would like to add that dealing with domestic violence and child abuse requires additional help because safety should be a number one priority. I would not advise negotiating or making deals with a perpetrator, it is better to get outside help and develop a safety plan with experienced professionals. If you have an Order for Protection or a Harassment Order parenting children will not be the same as in a “typical” divorce–again, safety should be the first consideration and outside help is crucial to ensure your safety comes first, and your rights are being protected.

I do not believe in Gardner’s theory of Parental Alienation because it is an unproven, unfounded theory that has been widely discredited; and in practice, has had devastating results on children and families.

“In the final analysis, parental alienation syndrome is little more than a scientific-sounding label for conduct that judges and lawyers have known about for years.  In some custody battles, one parent attempts to turn the child against the other parent.  The child becomes a pawn in the struggle over custody.  Such parental behavior is inexcusable and should not be tolerated.  In view of the damage inflicted by parental alienation syndrome and its bias against women, however, the wiser course would be to discard the syndrome and confront unethical behavior head on.” What is Parental Alienation Syndrome, and Why is it so Often Used Against Mothers? Mothers Against Sexual Abuse. http://www.againstsexualabuse.org/docs/ParentalAlienation.asp

I appreciate the input offered. I am open to talking about and exploring ideas, theories and views. You views and experiences will be respected. In posting, you can remain anonymous if you wish.

Thank-you ~* Evanlee

National Domestic Violence Hotline

http://www.ndvh.org/

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

 

Parental Alienation Syndrome: Science or Junk Science?

 

Family courts often do not consider the history of violence between the parents in making custody and visitation decisions. . . . Psychological evaluators not trained in domestic violence may contribute to this process by ignoring or minimizing the violence and by giving inappropriate pathological labels to women’s responses to chronic victimization. Terms such as “parental alienation” may be used to blame the women for the children’s reasonable fear of or anger toward their violent father. [pg 100] 1996 Report of the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family
http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/ocean/host.php?folder=63&page=442 

Richard A. Gardner, M.D., former clinical professor of child psychiatry at the College of Physicians and Surgeons at Columbia University , is the progenator of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). PAS is a highly controversial theory that has not officially been recognized as a syndrome or a diagnosis.

 The theory of PAS is as follows: The parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent’s indoctrinations and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the target parent . . .  

 

Interesting that PAS does not explain other types of scenarios involving abuse allegations–such as abuse allegations made against an individual who is not family or an allegations made before the dissolution of a relationship. Nor does PAS explain why a child would “contribute” to the “vilification of the target parent“. Similar questions and a lack of scientific credibility has cause criticism for PAS, some would call it “junk science”. Gardner has admitted that theory is not based on science but on observation and work as an “expert” witness. An “expert” witness is called to testify for one side, and usually frames an argument in one theory or point of view. Gardner has been highly sought after in his career as an “expert witness” and was paid hundreds of dollars an hour for testimony, Often, Gardner did not meet the people he testified against, which is not considered unethical.

 

 

The so-called treatment for PAS involves taking the child from the parent accused of alienation (usually the mother) and reuniting the child to the other parent. In many cases, a child is completely removed from one parent and custody is given to the other. Usually parenting classes or therapy is not part of treatment; and is difficult to obtain. Then again, it is very difficult to “treat” a syndrome which really does not exist! Indeed, a parent seeking therapeutic help may be accused of PAS and the “evidence” may be that they are creating barriers by involving therapists. Or a therapist that supports the child may be accused of bias. Reported by the Pittsburgh Post Gazette:

 

“…And in a report filed in the Grieco case, Gardner noted that ‘PAS mothers have a way of finding therapists, almost invariably women, who reflexively join them in their campaign of denigration of the father … (and) in some cases even join the mother’s paranoid delusional system.’

In some cases in which ‘fanatic’ mothers want to limit or cut off visits to the father, he wrote, ‘I believe that the most important element in these children’s therapy is immediate transfer by the court to the home of the so-called hated parent.’” http://www.post-gazette.com/custody/partthree.asp

Scenes like these, while seeming more fit for ”The Twilight Zone”  are happening in courtrooms across America today based soley on the allegation of Parental Alienation Syndrome. In some instances, children have been placed with abusers only to run away from home and even, commit suicide.

Since Gardner came forward with his theory of PAS in the 1985, PAS has been used to counter abuse allegations–and to discredit the testimony of victims, including mothers, children, therapists and other witnesses (especially those connected to the mother in any way). PAS allegations may also be used to win sole custody of children or to wage lengthy legal battles as a form of harassment/intimidation against the other parent.

Further, “Mothers who choose to divorce a husband when sexual abuse is disclosed often lose much and pay a high price for protecting their children. The mother may lose her source of financial support. She may be threatened with violence if she supports her child and takes legal action against the offender. If the man has been violent with the mother, she may have a very difficult time doing what she needs to do to protect her child. If she is met by a high-powered legal team hired by her child’s offender, and she has no resources to fight, she may give up. She may feel a divided loyalty between her child and the offender. If she has been battered herself, she is likely to be isolated from social support and may have a hard time getting through the court appearances and other ordeals involved in protecting her child. She may be tempted at every juncture to abandon the protection of her child and give in to the offender. If such a mother is not supported by the legal and social services systems, the risk is great that she will capitulate and abandon her children to the offender.” (Merrilyn McDonald)

Often, individuals who are not qualified to make a psychological assessment of the mother or the child are the ones to make the allegation of PAS, and often without any supporting evidence or psychological examination. The reason why virtually anyone can be credible to “diagnose” PAS is because anything the mother says or does is automatically suspect, and again–there are no guidelines within the framework of PAS to prove otherwise! Further, in the way the family court system works, allegations of abuse have to be “proven”, and the suspicion of abuse can run concurrently with the allegation of PAS, which creates a hostile environment ripe with bias. 

It is highly questionable whether Gardner, himself was qualified to make such an assessment of PAS or any medical diagnosis. Gardner’s views on pedophilia and child sexual abuse are against what is scientifically known about sexual abuse, and what survivors of sexual abuse have reported. Gardner believes, “…that children are naturally sexual and may initiate sexual encounters by “seducing” the adult. Moreover, Gardner (1992b, pp. 670-71) maintains that sex abuse is not necessarily traumatic; the determinant as to whether sexual molestation will be traumatic to the child, is the social attitude toward these encounters.” (Dallam, http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/res/dallam/3.html). Not surprising, that those accused of molestation often benefited from Gardner’s views. Gardner once fought to end the mandated reporting of sexual abuse and fought to end immunity for reporters of sexual abuse. Gardner developed the Sex Abuse Legitimacy Scale (SALS, 1987) to test the validity of the reports of sexual abuse from children. THE SAL Scale is heavily based on the PAS theory. For Gardner’s theories to work–the parent has to be purposely influencing the child, sexually frustrated and seeking revenge. PAS is a prerequisite of SALS–and its merit heavily influences the way credibility is established. I find this highly unethical and suspicious–Gardner is developing two theories that not only further his career but whose legitimacy is based on how the two theories (PAS and SALS) support each other! A Florida appellate court rejected SAL for lack of scientific merit; eventually Gardner withdrew it entirely.  

 PAS has been widely criticized, and in the absence of peer review, it seems the “testing” for PAS is being done on families and vulnerable children caught in ideological battles fought in the American family court system. PAS is considered non-diagnostic because it does not explain the cause of its condition nor does it show that any symptoms result from it. The suggestion of abuse has become some sort of symptom of PAS while the cause results from a trauma that has not been adequately explained or adequately diagnosed as anything but as alienation. It is highly suspicious that PAS has no methodology to rule out true accusations of abuse, and related symptoms from alienation.  At best PAS remains a theory, there is no substantial testing, case study or reviews to give it true credibility.

Gardner, now deceased will not be able to provide any further answers. Gardner died by his own hand of violent suicide (http://cincinnatipas.com/dr-richardgardnerautopsy.html). While Gardner has escaped life, the legacy of PAS continues with tragic results. Irene Weiser reports, “Some children placed in the custody of their abusers have committed suicide; others have run away, and countless others have endured the abuse and are permanently traumatized.  In recent years, children placed in custody of their abusers have been coimg forward to tell their own stories and to warn of the harms of PAS.”(http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/ocean/host.php?folder=63&page=442). In one example from North Carolina, a 14 year old girl was jailed for three days after refusing to visit her father, a judge ruled she was afflicted with PAS. Both the American Bar Association Children’s Legal Rights Journal (2006) and the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges (2006) have found no support for PAS and strongly cautioned against its use. It’s time the courts and psychologists start to listen—children have been suffering for too long. Not only has Gardner proven to be highly unreliable, biased, and to have personal motive to further PAS but the theory has been thoroughly discredited by various legal, psychological and scientific professionals. PAS is harming families—and causing damage to children, many who are traumatized for life or tragically, die. Parental Alienation Syndrome needs to be discontinued until it has been proved to be a scientifically valid syndrome.

    

Maverick expert exerts wide influence on custody cases

 http://www.post-gazette.com/custody/partthree.asp

The Myth of Epidemic False Allegations of Sexual Abuse in Divorce Cases by Merrilyn McDonaldhttp://www.omsys.com/mmcd/courtrev.htm

Richard Gardner and Parental Alienation Syndrome The debate rages on…By Jamie Talan, Newsday.com, July 1, 2003

http://www.ipce.info/library_3/files/pasyndrome.htm

 The Truth About Parental Alienation by Irene Weiser

http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/ocean/host.php?page=442&subpage=0&T=

The Parental Alienation Syndrome: Is It Scientific? by Stephanie J. Dallam, RN, MSN, FNP

 http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/res/dallam/3.html

  

Stop Family Violence: Parental Alienation Articles Page

 http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/ocean/host.php?folder=63

 

Quotes by Gardner: Proponent of PAS

I am posting these quotes from the Stop Family Violence page, which compiled quotes by Richard Gardner, who founded the theory of Parental Alienation in 1987. This is a must read when considering PAS. http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/ocean/host.php?folder=63&page=373

CAUTION: some readers, especially survivors of sexual abuse, may find Gardner’s remarks deeply disturbing.  Indeed, we all should. 

---

On Pedophilia“The child should be able to pity the father for the curse (in our society) of having pedophilic tendencies.  In other times and other places, he would be considered normal.” 
RICHARD A. GARDNER, TRUE AND FALSE ALLEGATIONS OF CHILD SEX ABUSE  592 (1992).

 “He [the pedophile] has also had bad luck with regard to the place and time he was born with regard to social attitudes toward pedophilia.  However, these are not reasons to condemn himself.”
RICHARD A. GARDNER, TRUE AND FALSE ALLEGATIONS OF CHILD SEX ABUSE  593 (1992).

 “I believe that all of us have some pedophilia within us.” 
RICHARD A. GARDNER, SEX ABUSE HYSTERIA: THE SALEM WITCH TRIALS REVISITED 26 (1991).

 “Each time the accusers make an accusation, they are likely to be forming an internal visual image of the sexual encounter.  With each mental replay, the accusers gratify the desire to be engaging in the activities that the perpetrators are involved in in the visual imagery. . Each time we conjure up a visual image of the child being sexually abused, we gratify vicariously our or pedophilic impulses.”
RICHARD A. GARDNER, SEX ABUSE HYSTERIA: THE SALEM WITCH TRIALS REVISITED 25 (1991).

 “[The pedophile] has to be helped to appreciate that pedophilia has been considered the norm by the vast majority of individuals in the history of the world.  He has to be helped to appreciate that, even today, it is a widespread and accepted practice among literally billions of people.” RICHARD A. GARDNER, TRUE AND FALSE ALLEGATIONS OF CHILD SEX ABUSE  593 (1992).

On Pedophilic Impulses of Judges:

 “There is no question that abuse cases are ‘turn ons’ for the wide variety of individuals involved in them, the accuser(s), the prosecutors, the lawyers, the judges, the evaluators, the psychologists, the reporters, the readers of the newspapers, and everyone else involved— except for the falsely accused and the innocent victim . . . Everyone is getting their ‘jollies,’ except the two central figures, who are not only getting little if any sexual pleasure out of the whole thing but whose lives are being destroyed in the process.”  
RICHARD A. GARDNER, SEX ABUSE HYSTERIA: THE SALEM WITCH TRIALS REVISITED 31 (1991)

“Judges are not free from the psychopathological mechanisms. . .  They too may have repressed pedophilic impulses over which there is suppression, repression, and guilt.  Inquiry into the details of the case provides voyeuristic and vicarious gratifications. . .  Incarcerating the alleged perpetrator may serve psychologically to obliterate the judge’s own projected pedophilic impulses.”
RICHARD A. GARDNER, SEX ABUSE HYSTERIA: THE SALEM WITCH TRIALS REVISITED 107 (1991).

On Sexual Abuse As Mother’s Fantasy:

In making allegations of sexual abuse, “the mother’s own suppressed and repressed sexual fantasies are projected onto the child and the father.  By visualizing the father having a sexual experience with the child, the mother is satisfying vicariously her own desires to be a recipient of such overtures and activities.”
RICHARD A. GARDNER, THE PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME 126 (1992).

Gardner notes that the mother might see the father as a danger to the child because of her “own unconscious desires to inflict harm on the baby.”
RICHARD A. GARDNER, THE PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME 128 (1992).

States that some people are more afflicted with pedophilia than others and therefore need to indulge in more frequent imagining of sexual acts with children.  Such people are more likely to “produce false sex abuse charges.” 
RICHARD A. GARDNER, SEX ABUSE HYSTERIA: THE SALEM WITCH TRIALS REVISITED 26 (1991).

On Encouragement of Abuse by Mother:

“In some cases the abuse was actually encouraged (overtly or covertly) by the mother in order to use the child as a substitute object for the father’s sexual gratification.  Such mothers view sexual encounters as odious, and the child is used as a convenient replacement – protecting the mother thereby from exposure to the noxious act.”
RICHARD A. GARDNER, THE PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME AND THE DIFFERENTIATION BETWEEN FABRICATED AND GENUINE CHILD SEX ABUSE  122 (1987).

“Sometimes, mothers who were sexually abused as children may have set up a situation to increase the likelihood that the father will abuse the child.  They may do this as a way of mastering their own abuse trauma.  They may secretly and/or unconsciously hope that the child’s resistance or successful working through will vicariously enable them to do the same for themselves.  Or, they may have responded to the abuse by frigidity or sexual unresponsivity and use the child as a substitute source of satisfaction for their husbands.”
RICHARD A. GARDNER, THE PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME AND THE DIFFERENTIATION BETWEEN FABRICATED AND GENUINE CHILD SEX ABUSE  130 (1987).

 “Sexual abuse of some girls by their fathers is sometimes consciously or unconsciously sanctioned by their mothers.”
RICHARD A. GARDNER, THE PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME AND THE DIFFERENTIATION BETWEEN FABRICATED AND GENUINE CHILD SEX ABUSE  194 (1987).

“Sometimes the mother’s abuse has resulted in sexual inhibition problems, resulting in their viewing sex as disgusting.  They may then facilitate (consciously or unconsciously) their children serving as sexual substitutes in order to protect themselves from involvement in sexual acts.” 
RICHARD A. GARDNER, TRUE AND FALSE ALLEGATIONS OF CHILD SEX ABUSE