Connection Between Abuse & Mental Illness

 “All i, seem to, think about is violence
It doesn’t matter if I’m dead sober or I’m bent
It’s strange, I’m not insane or at least I don’t think so
Or am i? you think so doc, truthfully I don’t know
I need a doctor to give me some therapy
I need a doctor to check my, my brain..”
Therapy by Heltah Skeltah

WHAT IS ABUSE?

Abuse: Patterns of violence, intimidation and threats used to gain control and/or compliance over another person. Aspects of abuse include: physical, sexual, emotional/mental, psychological and financial. Abuse is committed by one person who has power over the other, and exerts that power in harmful ways. Abuse can happen to people of all backgrounds and genders–socio economic, religious and cultural.

For More Information Visit: Domestic Violence (Myths, Safety Plan, Questions About Leaving, Resources, etc)http://www.domesticviolence.org

 Halton Women’s Place (What Is Abuse?): http://www.haltonwomensplace.com/abuse.htm

What is Abuse in Relationships: http://www.dvirc.org.au/whenlove/infospace.htm

CRAZY MAKING

 One tactic abuse is “crazy making”–when a perpetrator commits deliberate acts or manipulates to make a victim feel crazy, or to believe they are crazy. Feelings of disbelief, confusion and shame are all a part of crazy making. Crazy making can involve verbal abuse–threats, taunts, shame, blame, humiliation or name calling. Crazy making can involve physical abuse–coersion, retaliation. deprivation or physical harm. Often crazy making involves psychological tactics such as manipulation, stalking, isolating and acts that degrade or break down the self.

I found this song to be an of crazy making:

“You said: ‘You’re crazy, why do you keep doing this? Everything is fine.’ Then I think, I’m crazy I do this all the time Until I start to think that nothing’s even wrong [Chorus] Maybe I am Hiding in my own confusion Maybe we’re just A picture in my head Maybe what if it could be The way I wish it really was Maybe I don’t wanna see it The way it really is..”

The Way it Really Is by Lisa Loeb

For More Information Visit: Wearing Her Down, Understanding & Responding to Emotional Abuse: http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/wearing_her_down.html

Crazy Making, Some Disturbing Little Stories: http://www.dreamchild.net/caccrazemake.html

The Connection Between Abuse and Mental Health

Abuse can and will lead to varying degrees of mental and emotional decline. In many instances, a victim will not seek help or struggle to get help because they feel ashamed, that they are “crazy” or something is wrong with them or are afraid of the abuser. It may take a crisis before a victim seeks help–by then the problem is greatly exacerbated. In other instances, a victim may not be believed because they have a previous mental health condition or the affects of abuse present as a mental health problem. The affects of abuse on a victim can create a variety of problems from low self esteem, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress, destructive behavior (eating disorder, promiscuity, addiction, self injury), sleep disorder and phobias. Advocates working with abuse victims will need to work alongside professionals and medical providers to ensure the victim receives the help they need. Advocates will also play a crucial role in getting the victim help–and recognizing that abuse is taking place. An advocate may be a person working at a shelter or it may be a teacher, family member, friend or religious official. It may even be you.

 Facts on the connection between abuse and mental health

“Battered women are 4-5 times more likely than non-battered women to require psychiatric treatment. “ Violence Against Women Source: Tubman Family Alliance, http://www.tubmanfamilyalliance.org/need_help/being_abused/violence_facts.html

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“While that may seem like common sense, there is now a growing body of evidence indicating that experiencing abuse plays a significant role in the development and exacerbation of mental disorders and substance abuse problems, increases the risk for victimization, and influences the course of recovery from a range of psychiatric illnesses. Across studies of battered women, rates of:

(1) PTSD range from 54% to 84%

(2) Depression range from 63% to 77%

(3) Anxiety range from 38% to 75%

…Linking domestic violence advocacy with mental health and substance abuse service delivery is critical for the prevention of future violence and its sequelae.” –Domestic Violence & Mental Health Policy Initiative

http://www.dvmhpi.org

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“About a quarter of U.S. women suffer domestic violence, U.S. health officials reported on Thursday, with ongoing health problems that one activist likened to the effects of living in a war zone…The CDC said women who suffer domestic violence are three times as likely to engage in risky sex and 70 percent more likely to drink heavily than other women. They are also twice as likely to report that their activities are limited by physical, mental or emotional problems and 50 percent more likely to use a cane, wheelchair or other disability equipment, the CDC survey found.These women also were 80 percent more likely to have a stroke, 70 percent more likely to have heart disease or arthritis and 60 percent more likely to have asthma.” Quater of US women suffer domestic violence: CDC by Will Dunsham (3/8/0

http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/ocean/host.php?folder=12&page=497

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“All women who are experiencing or have experienced domestic violence will need emotional support of some kind, but their needs will vary. All women need to be listened to with respect and without being judged when they choose to talk about their experiences.” In conclusion, if you are a victim of abuse get help. You deserve to be safe. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. Your life depends on it. It will take time to be safe again, to heal and rebuild you life–but have hope because the first step begins in believing that you are worthy of love, respect and a better life. And with those steps comes a sense of power and strength that will only grow. Even in your struggles, your value as a person, and in the soul God placed in your body, is not diminished. You deserve love, respect and safety. Believe that.

For Additional Information:

The Women’s Aid Site include a “Survivor’s Handbook”. Here you will find common tactics used by abusers who use mental health (threats, name calling, shaming, creating distress/anxiety/fear etc) as a weapon against victims. Also includes tips on how to communicate with service providers, who may not believe your disclosure of abuse because you are seeking help for mental or emotional issues. Also includes tips how to survive after abuse. http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-survivors-handbook.asp?section=000100010008000100360002

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Domestic Abuse Victims Bring Complex Issues to Treatement by Eve Bender. Psychiatric News (June 4, 2004, Volume 39, Number 11): Information on how affects of abuse may affect a victim’s mental health, coping skills and relationships with others. Information on how psychiatrists and other medical professionals can assist victims in healing and seeking help. Discusses common myths and barriers that prevent victims from being taken seriously or being recognized when reporting abuse while also dealing with mental health issues. http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/39/11/14?maxtoshow=&HITS=20&hits=20&RESULTFORMAT=&stored_search=&FIRSTINDEX=0&tocsectionid=Professional*&displaysectionid=Professional+News&journalcode=psychnews

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You Are Not Crazy-Listen to What Verbal Abuse Sounds Like

“…he masterfully charms everyone he meets, just like he did to her when they first met…”

Includes Information about Abuse, Charateristics/Behavior of an Abuser, Eileen’s Journal and More http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/

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Violence Against Women With Disabilities (Facts, Recommendations for Service Providers to Help Victims, Education and More) http://www.bcm.edu/crowd/?pmid=1344#facts

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Coping As a Non Borderline/Coping with BPD Loved Ones List of Resources and Information on Abuse, Borderline Personality Disorder, Relationships, Dealing with Stress, Depression, Anger and Shame and More..

http://www.bpdresources.com/coping.html

 

Internet Links: Sex Offender Registry

Free Sex Offender Search by State

http://www.ancestorhunt.com/sex_offenders_search.htm

Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Public Registry

http://www.nsopr.gov/

This Web site is provided as a public service by the U.S. Department of Justice (”the Department”). Using this Web site, interested members of the public have access to and may search participating state Web site public information regarding the presence or location of offenders, who, in most cases, have been convicted of sexually-violent offenses against adults and children and certain sexual contact and other crimes against victims who are minors. The public can use this Web site to educate themselves about the possible presence of such offenders in their local communities.

The criteria for searching are limited to what each individual state may provide. Also, because information is hosted by each state and not by the federal government, search results should be verified by the user in the state where the information is posted.

 

Additional Information- Sex Offenders: The National Safety Network  (News, State and County Database of Sex Offenders) http://sexualoffenders.com/

 

This is not a comprehensive list. You may also want to check the resources and information your state provides.

 

True Princess

My daughter you are a

True princess

The way you twirl toilet paper

Around your waist

The way you clop around

In my  heels

Swinging your Big Bird purse

On one chubby arm. 

My daughter, your struggle

Is not fought alone

For I love you, always

The nights you stumble

Into my bed

Chased by nightmares

I hold you close

And promise to protect you

Though the only promise

I can make is the time

You are in my arms.

My daughter,

your voice was lost

and the the smallest sound

Silenced

Like a castle wall

overgrown with ivy.

 My daughter, you alone found the courage

To find your words again

To tell what was done to you

You have forever lost

The enchantment of

Your first years of life

Torn between love for “daddy”

And fear of what he did. 

My daughter, you are

A true princess

I believe in something

More precious than Fairy tales

I believe in you.   

Evanlee Perth ©2005 

 

Link: CCR, Parenting Young Sexually Abused Child

Coordinated Community Response for Sexual Assault (CCR), Dane County Wisconsin

Parenting The Young Sexually Abused Child

Parenting The Young Sexually Abused Child is an online manual to offer help after a child has disclosed incest or extrafamilial sexual abuse. It includes five chapters about the normal sexual development of children, indicators of sexual abuse, disclosure (under the chapter “Believing the Child”), helping the child cope, and resources.

Specific parenting issues such as nightmares, fears, responseses to family and friends, and stages of accepting sexual abuse are also discussed.

Another parenting issue CCR discussess is future contact with the perpetrator and making promises of safety to the abused child, “A word of CAUTION: if you cannot protect your child from future contacts with the perpetrator, such as often occurs in disputed incest and custody cases, do not give false reassurances. Failure to keep promises of protection will contribute to your child’s feelings of helplessness. Another way of providing reassurance is to be available to talk when it appears as though your child may need it the most, for example, prior to stressful transitions such as change in day care or at bedtime.” HELPFUL and HARMFUL REACTIONS TO DISCLOSURE OF SEXUAL ABUSE, CCR.

I highly recommend this manual as a valuable source of information and support for both the parent/caregiver and the child.

The CCR page also Includes an Excerpt from:

From NO MORE SECRETS: Protecting Your Child from Sexual Assault,  by Caren Adams and Jennifer Fay, copyright 1981.

http://danenet.wicip.org/dcccrsa/saissues/parent.html

*Safety and precaution tips for your child

*Advise on how to help a child recover after an assault has occured

*Advise on how to strengthen family and community to support victims of assault

 

Soul Self Help: Types of Sexual Abuse

Title: Signs and Symptoms of Sexual Abuse

From the Book: ” Healing The Shame That Binds You”, by John Bradshaw

Site: http://www.soulselfhelp.on.ca/sexab.html

“Sexual abuse is the most shaming of all abuse. It takes less sexual abuse than any other form of abuse to induce shame. Sexual abuse is widespread. It is estimated that there are currently some 60 million victims of sexual violence.” – John Bradshaw

Signs and Symptoms of Sexual Abuse describes the various kinds of sexual abuse: physical, overt, covert (body violation and verbal abuse) and emotional (getting the needs met at the child’s expense).

Also on this page: Common Types of Sexual Abuse

Site: http://www.soulselfhelp.on.ca/types.html

 

Indicators of Sexual Abuse

 Note: Sudden changes in a child followed by signs of distress should be taken seriously, and professional advise should be sought. Signs of distress or trauma can be caused by various stressful events, including sexual abuse.  Not all abuse victims report the same symptoms.  If a child presents with a number of these symptoms, sexual abuse should be considered.  I would advise seeking help from a professional or from a crisis agency.  Most children are not able to communicate what has happened to them so it is critical that parents and caregivers be aware of these indicators, to advocate for the child.  Another indicator of sexual abuse is a “red flag” or feeling that something is wrong noticed by an outsider. In that case, take action or seek help from a professional; the life of a child is at stake, your actions are important in getting needed help.

Psychological

*Sudden change in behavior

*Loss of memory

*Feeling guilty or responsible for the abuse

*Flashbacks or intrusive memories

*Aggressive behavior -May act out sexually towards others (renacting abuse or feelings resulting from sexual abuse), May break objects, May hurt others or self, May hurt animals

*Hurting self

*Sudden mood swings (In traumatized children the moods often swing from passive/withdrawn to volatile)

*Panic attacks

*Fear of a type of person (usually resembles abuser)

*Regressive behavior (thumb sucking, crawling, bed wetting, babbling/baby talk, etc.)

*Excessive crying or crying fits

*Fear of separation or being left alone

*Hypervigilance

*Low self-esteem

*Dissociation (May seem in a dream-like state, slow to respond, or lack emotion)

*Passive/Overly compliant

*Depression

*Difficulty talking or suddenly stops talking

Social

*Withdrawn

*Isolated

*Lack of trust

*Inability to bond or form relationships with others

*Fears (may lead to isolation or avoidance of being in the public or with others)

*Promiscuous or Inability to be initimate

*Children may seek attention or affection from anyone, including strangers

*Sexualized Play (Excessive or focused masturbation, Putting objects in the genitals, Reenacting sexual abuse in play, Knowing more about sexual acts than a child should know)

*Panic attacks

*Fear of a certain place (often where the abuse occured or a place that triggers memories of the abuse)

*Problems in School or Sudden Changes in School (Truancy, Poor Grades, Rebellion, etc)

Physical

*Chronic pain with no known cause

*Headaches

*Stomaches

*Lack of energy/Tired

*Stress

*Hair loss

*Eating Disorders

*Loss of Appetite

*Nightmares or Night Terrors (Severe sleep disturbances characterized by screaming, getting out of bed, shaking, sitting up, or jerking without actually waking)

*Addictions

*Wearing layers of clothing or baggy clothing (trying to hide behind clothing)

Some children are physically injured from acts of sexual abuse and may have STDs, bladder infections, bruises, cuts and infections.

If you notice any of these indicators in a child, even a young child, be aware that the child may start to hurt themselves (even unintentionally). Pay attention to bruises, scratches, burns, cuts, different eating behaviors, and when the child choose to be alone for a lengthy amount of time.  If you are suspicious that the child is hurting themself or at risk, seek help. Remain supportive of the child, reaffirm that you care and you want to help.

Resources:

Child Trauma Academy: Sexual Abuse of Children

http://www.childtrauma.org/CTAMATERIALS/sexual_abuse.asp

Parenting a Sexually Abused Child by Lawrence R. Ricci, M.D.

http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/pa/pa_sexabpar_hhg.htm

ProtectKid

Prevent Child Abuse: Sexual Abuse

http://www.preventchildabuse.com/sexual.htm

ProtectKids.com: Child Sexual Abuse (includes information about online safety)

http://www.protectkids.com/abuse

Stop It Now: Warning Signs About Sexual Abuse

http://www.stopitnow.com/warnings.html#behavioral

 

Link: Parenting a Sexually Abused Child

Pediatric Advisor 2006.2: Parenting a Sexually Abused Child

http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/pa/pa_sexabpar_hhg.htm

Summary: Parenting a child who has been sexually abused can present difficult challenges. Children who have been sexually abused often develop symptoms that can be frustrating for the family.

It is important for parents not to see their child’s symptomatic behavior as being purposefully bad or naughty. These symptoms are often reactions to the trauma of being sexually abused. Try to separate your feelings for your child from your reactions to the child’s behavior. You can let your child know that some of the things he does are not OK but that you still love him….

Written by Lawrence R. Ricci, M.D.

Parenting a Sexually Abused Child is an article that discusses the symptoms of sexual abuse and includes tips for parents on how to deal with the behaviors a child may display after being traumatized by sexual abuse. Also includes insights on why children act out in certain ways.