“Avoiding getting close to people and trying to hide all of one’s pain and vulnerabilities may create a sense of safety. But this approach to relationships leads to a great deal of loneliness, prevents experiences and learning about developing true intimacy and trust, and makes one vulnerable to desperately and naively putting trust in the wrong people and being betrayed again.” — Jim Hopper, Ph.D

“I wanted this to be God’s words, not my own. I want God to be speaking through my music. So I stepped back and prayed about it. I surrendered the whole writing process to God.” — Krystal Meyers, Christian Music Today

I decided to review the song “The Situation” by Krystal Meyers, a Christian rock/alterantive artist, because the song is compelling, and sends a positive message. Krystal wrote the song to warn against premarital sex, “The Situation” advises seeking love from God, and seeking self-respect rather than compromising yourself in an unsafe situation. The message of “The Situation” parallels the danger many abuse survivors face, being re-victimized by trauma and by those who seek to exploit their vulnerabilities.  

The results of child abuse are devastating on a child and can leave lasting trauma in social, emotional, mental and physical development. A survivor’s ability to form close relationships with others, to bond and develop trust often in compromised, if not shattered, as a result. When abuse issues are not healed, an abused child is vulnerable to further victimization–as adults, many victims of enter abusive or dysfunctional relationships. Or, survivors carry thier trauma into aspects of their lives as adults, and into the relationships they form with others.

Examples of emotional and behavioral trauma caused by abuse include: withdrawal (extreme passivity, disconnection or apathy), low-self esteem, substance abuse, self injury, sexually acting out/risk taking, and depression (may include sleep disturbances, running away, dramatic change in appearance, or dramatic change in friends). In turn, the trauma affects the relationships the survivor will have with others–and ultimately will shape judgments when getting close to others. The good news is that trauma can be healed, and a survivor can lead a productive, happy life free of the past. However, the scars of abuse must be resolved–and the patterns of abusive relationships released. With support and professional help, the suvivor will heal.

I find music a powerful tool in healing, especially in reaching out to children. Often times songs speak the words adults fumble for. Or the strike of a guitar, imparts an emotion that conveys a meaning that is understood on another level. So I really was impressed by the depth of “The Situation”, and Krystal’s maturity in performing such a provactive piece at such a young age (she is 19). I really think music can be used as a tool to bridge communication between parent and child–to sit close together, and listen. To offer an opportunity to talk. To ask what is important to your child. To let your child know you are listening. To let the child know they are the most important situation to you.

_______________________

Artist: Krystal Meyers

Album: Dying for a Heart, 2006

Song: The Situation

Genre: Rock, Alternative, Christian

Lyrics:
She’s finding love in the back of a car when is it too late
Have they gone too far
She’s having trouble drawing the line
But she knows she wants to feel beautiful

She struggles finding self-respect
She’ll wake up feeling regret
Her purity’s been compromised
But she knows she wants to feel beautiful

A promise made to treasure
You don’t have to give it away
Falling for the pressure
You can’t mend a vow when it breaks
Explain your hesitation
Jesus can be your escape
Don’t taint the situation
This love was made to wait

He’s living life out on the edge
Gotta make a move
Move it onto the bed
Temptation whispers in his head
Believe the lie
Suck it up and be a man

He’ll trade her heart
For a trophy
Put it on the shelf
So his friends can see
He has what it takes to get what he wants
Tonight’s the night
Suck it up and be a man

What’s wrong?
I can see the fear behind your eyes
You’re scared
You might walk away unsatisfied
God’s love
Is the only love to fill the void
He’s reachin’ out
Just turn around
And hold on

________________

For More Information:

To report abuse, call the National Child Abuse Hotline:

1-800-4-A-CHILD.

IN A LIFE THREATENING EMERGENCY CALL 911

Krystal Meyers Online:

http://www.myspace.com/krystalmeyers

http://www.myspace.com/krystalmeyers

Child Abuse Statistics, Research, and Resources

by Jim Hopper, Ph.D

http://www.jimhopper.com/abstats/#effects

Child Abuse Research and Statistics

http://www.prevent-abuse-now.com/stats.htm#Allegations

Christianity Today: The Journey of a Musical Anti-Conformist

http://www.christianitytoday.com/music/artists/krystalmeyers.html

Help Guide Coping with Stress: Management, Prevention, Reduction

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_management_relief_coping.htm

Music Faith: Krystal Meyers Colliding Pieces

http://www.musicfaith.com/fansites/krystal_meyers/interviews.php

Parenting a Sexually Abused Child:

http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/pa/pa_sexabpar_hhg.htm

Surviving Child Sexual Abuse (Includes Information on how to talk to children about abuse, methods to reduce stress, resources for information, and much more…)

http://www.geocities.com/mandy62657

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